I don't do Christmas cards, I'm not organized enough. I don't do Christmas letters for the same reason. So here's our year in review...starting youngest to oldest...
Rey...8 years old (HOW is that possible?!); 3rd grader. She suffered a trampoline neck injury that required x-rays. Thankfully she was just fine and needed a couple of days of ice/heat treatment to recover. Rey played volleyball this year for the first time. She seemed to have lots of fun. She had practices on Wed and a game on Sunday. She said she wants to play again! She also wants to play basketball and take dance and gymnastics. This girlie is going to keep me on the run!
Genna...11 years old; 5th grader. Genna is playing the trumpet this year and she also is in the choir. She played softball this summer, volleyball in the fall, and is ready for basketball this winter. She is our go-to sports girl. She loves to watch those Packers play with her daddy! She had to say goodbye to her bunny this year as someone just came right in the drive and stole him and his food! She was pretty heart-broken about that but healed in true Genna form. Genna is becoming this sweet young lady, right before our eyes! She is so tender-hearted!
Trey...14 years old; 8th grader. A big year for Trey! He broke his finger in PE and had to have surgery. That cast was NO fun! Trey made the Honor Roll! He was able to try his hand (the good one!) at drama this semester. He loved it and we loved getting the chance to see him in action. Turns out this kid has a great voice too. He was in the choir and at his concerts you could really hear him belting those chords out! He is getting ready for his 2nd year of debate and he and Ariez are getting ready for their 8th grade trip to Washington, D.C.
Ariez...14 years old; 8th grader. Ariez made the Honor Roll!! It was a big moment in our house. Ariez has grown 6 inches in the last 2 years. He is offically taller than Rythm! He could not be more excited about this! Ariez continues to make great strides. He is growing physically, emotionally, and spiritually and we are incredibly proud of him. Basketball try-outs start right after Christmas Break.
Tai...17 years old; 11th grader. Tai likes to constantly tell me how much longer she has until she's graduated. She has no idea that it makes me so really happy for her and so really sad all at the same time. She started working this summer at Culver's. She went to Culinary Arts camp at KCAI and won a $500 scholarship! She also won 1st place at District Cooking Comp at SCC. Tai had her first (and hopefully only) car accident this fall. Important, hard lessons were learned. Tai will continue to cook and share her amazing talent with us! Exciting things ahead!
Rythm...18 years old; freshman at SCC. Of course the big events are Rythm graduated from HS in May, got her first apartment in June, and started college in Oct. So many new life experiences for this young lady! It's weird not having her home all the time, but she does stop in every so often and that's nice. Rythm was home on Christmas Eve and came to Grandma's on Christmas Day. It truly fills my heart with joy to have all of them together again!
Steve...GRADUATED FROM UNK!!! We are so incredibly proud of him and all of his hard work. He celebrated 5 years with NelNet this year and he continues to move up in the company and is a supervisor. He's working 2nd shift right but we continue to pray that he will get 1st shift with no weekends. Prayers! Prayers! Prayers! Steve works hard to support us and we are proud of all of his hard work but we miss him and want him home when we are. We're not sure how he feels about not having any alone time if he gets 1st shift. :)
Me...8 years with W&R. I love my job and love the people I work for. I think we finally have me on a medication that is working well for me. This was my second year as a volunteer with the Red Cross as a communications specialist for the UNL Husker games. I love being in the stadium on Husker day and I love being able to offer my services, however limited they may be.
So that's us this year for the most part. There were highs and lows, as life always has for us. My children are growing up...and I'm getting wiser. I'm seeing just how much our family will continue to grow and though sometimes I feel sad that they really aren't little kids anymore, I am also joyful in the life that we are building and the fun and exciting ways our family moves and grows.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Friday, December 26, 2014
Graduation
I'm late...I'm always late...but...before I tell you about Christmas, I have to tell you about this AMAZING man!!
On 12/19, he graduated from UNK with his bachelor's in Fine Arts and Humanities. He now has a degree in organizational communication. I know there is another part to that degree, but in true Sam fashion, I am unable to recall exactly what it is.
Steve is dedicated for sure. He started college many years ago. He has pursued it through all of our life together. Our life has had ups and downs and so his schooling has had ups and downs.
He's never given up. He had to re-take some classes, get extensions, switch degrees, take some time off. He never gave up. He just came back stronger and more determined to get it done.
I made him walk across the stage. He didn't really want to. I told him he needed to. His parents needed to see him do that, his kids needed to see him do that. He needed to do it so it felt real for him. I think he kind of wanted to do it but doesn't like us to make a big deal out of him.
So we sat (for a really long time) and we watched him walk across that stage and get his diploma. We cheered loudly for him. We hugged him. We took pictures. We had a celebration lunch. We made a big deal out of him.
On 12/19, he graduated from UNK with his bachelor's in Fine Arts and Humanities. He now has a degree in organizational communication. I know there is another part to that degree, but in true Sam fashion, I am unable to recall exactly what it is.
Steve is dedicated for sure. He started college many years ago. He has pursued it through all of our life together. Our life has had ups and downs and so his schooling has had ups and downs.
He's never given up. He had to re-take some classes, get extensions, switch degrees, take some time off. He never gave up. He just came back stronger and more determined to get it done.
I made him walk across the stage. He didn't really want to. I told him he needed to. His parents needed to see him do that, his kids needed to see him do that. He needed to do it so it felt real for him. I think he kind of wanted to do it but doesn't like us to make a big deal out of him.
So we sat (for a really long time) and we watched him walk across that stage and get his diploma. We cheered loudly for him. We hugged him. We took pictures. We had a celebration lunch. We made a big deal out of him.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Kicked
Every so often a person gets kicked in the heart. All through life. There's no way to completely avoid it. These kicks are a part of life. They make me stronger. They keep me prayful. They remind me of how human I am.
Sometimes it's a little thump and I have to pause for a moment and go about my business.
Sometimes it's stronger. I have to hold my breath because it's painful and I'm not sure of my footing in life.
Sometimes it completely knocks me over. I hold on tight to everything around me because I'm not sure how I'm going to survive. Sometimes those kicks to the heart can be life-altering.
Sometimes people kick your heart without any intention.
I got kicked this week. It wasn't a life altering kick, but it wasn't a little thump either. It was pretty painful. It still is.
Here's what I know...I will work through this kick. I will be stronger after I've worked through it. It's okay to be sad and hurt. It's okay that there won't be resolution to this. Sometimes I have to work through my feelings about it and that's resolution enough. There is a chance that this same kick may happen again. The exact same thing even. It will probably still hurt. That's okay.
Friday, December 5, 2014
My Young People
My children are growing into these amazing, wonderful young people. I could not have ever imagined how this part of our lives would feel.
When they're young, and you're just trying to survive sleep deprivation, you can't even think about getting to this point.
When they are fighting to go to bed and fighting to take baths and fighting to eat dinner, you never think about this moment.
Now, don't get me wrong...we still have the occasional fight about bed time. I still have to prod and plead to get showers done, clothes laid out, teeth brushed on a pretty regular basis at least they can do those things without me doing it for them. It's more of a supervisory role at this point.
I feel like I blinked and my kids became people. Amazing, funny, caring, endearing, young people. People who I see that have the power to change the world. Young people with independent thoughts and opinions. Young people with personalities that are fun and quirky.
Each of my kids is going in a different direction. Each of my kids is in a unique time of their lives. Some of them are further along in this journey to adulthood; emotionally, mentally, physically.
I'm so blessed to be the mom of these ever evolving young people. I am so blessed to have been a part of molding them and helping create them.
It's a bittersweet feeling to see them grow this way. I do miss their little hands and pudgy, messy faces. I miss when a magic kiss, and sometimes a band aid, would fix all their woes. I miss when they'd crawl in my lap and want a story. Sometimes I really miss how much they needed me then.
But this amazing, wonderful opportunity I get in watching them grow...I wouldn't give it up for anything. Watching them come to their own conclusions about life (as they know it), hearing their insightful thoughts on world current events, getting jobs and wanting to make their own money, being in plays and concerts and competitions...this is a whole new wonderful part of being a mom. I love watching them grow to "I'm almost taller than you, I'm as tall as you, and look mom I'm taller than you!" I love watching them make plans with their friends and going to the mall and dances and sleepovers. I really love sleepovers at our house.
I have this great opportunity to be part of something so much bigger than me. I have this amazing family that I get to watch grow and expand.
When they're young, and you're just trying to survive sleep deprivation, you can't even think about getting to this point.
When they are fighting to go to bed and fighting to take baths and fighting to eat dinner, you never think about this moment.
Now, don't get me wrong...we still have the occasional fight about bed time. I still have to prod and plead to get showers done, clothes laid out, teeth brushed on a pretty regular basis at least they can do those things without me doing it for them. It's more of a supervisory role at this point.
I feel like I blinked and my kids became people. Amazing, funny, caring, endearing, young people. People who I see that have the power to change the world. Young people with independent thoughts and opinions. Young people with personalities that are fun and quirky.
Each of my kids is going in a different direction. Each of my kids is in a unique time of their lives. Some of them are further along in this journey to adulthood; emotionally, mentally, physically.
I'm so blessed to be the mom of these ever evolving young people. I am so blessed to have been a part of molding them and helping create them.
It's a bittersweet feeling to see them grow this way. I do miss their little hands and pudgy, messy faces. I miss when a magic kiss, and sometimes a band aid, would fix all their woes. I miss when they'd crawl in my lap and want a story. Sometimes I really miss how much they needed me then.
But this amazing, wonderful opportunity I get in watching them grow...I wouldn't give it up for anything. Watching them come to their own conclusions about life (as they know it), hearing their insightful thoughts on world current events, getting jobs and wanting to make their own money, being in plays and concerts and competitions...this is a whole new wonderful part of being a mom. I love watching them grow to "I'm almost taller than you, I'm as tall as you, and look mom I'm taller than you!" I love watching them make plans with their friends and going to the mall and dances and sleepovers. I really love sleepovers at our house.
I have this great opportunity to be part of something so much bigger than me. I have this amazing family that I get to watch grow and expand.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Close
We're not as close as I wish we were.
We don't hang out.
We don't spend hours on the phone.
We don't send each other funny emails.
We don't just know when the other needs us.
We don't share our lives extensively.
We don't miss each other when we're not together.
We don't go out for lunch/dinner.
We don't spend weekends together.
We don't vacation together.
We don't text multiple times a day.
I've realized that's okay. It used to bother me. Now I'm okay with it.
We don't hang out.
We don't spend hours on the phone.
We don't send each other funny emails.
We don't just know when the other needs us.
We don't share our lives extensively.
We don't miss each other when we're not together.
We don't go out for lunch/dinner.
We don't spend weekends together.
We don't vacation together.
We don't text multiple times a day.
I've realized that's okay. It used to bother me. Now I'm okay with it.
Thankful for Death
At dinner we tell our "best part of the day." In November, we mix it up and tell one thing that we are thankful for each night. Both of these allow us to really focus on the positives of the day. It keeps us connected to each other.
It's always great to hear what my kids are thankful for. I hear school, tacos, family, drama class, friends, etc...I love hearing how they handle the things going on in their lives. I love learning about new friends, old friends, the days activities.
Tonight, Ariez told us he was thankful for death. Whatever you say you're thankful for, you have to tell us why. He said "death gives us a chance to realize how awesome life is."
Wow...this boy! The wonderful, beautiful, energetic, thoughtful boy. This boy who has lost more in life than most of us could ever imagine. This boy who would have any and all right to be moody, depressed, act out...any of those things and many more. This boy who has been so hurt in life.
He gets it. He knows. He's right. He knows that being thankful for death doesn't mean it's not okay to be sad about death. He knows being thankful for death doesn't mean we don't miss those who've died. He just knows that we need death. That sometimes death reminds us how awesome life is.
Wow
It's always great to hear what my kids are thankful for. I hear school, tacos, family, drama class, friends, etc...I love hearing how they handle the things going on in their lives. I love learning about new friends, old friends, the days activities.
Tonight, Ariez told us he was thankful for death. Whatever you say you're thankful for, you have to tell us why. He said "death gives us a chance to realize how awesome life is."
Wow...this boy! The wonderful, beautiful, energetic, thoughtful boy. This boy who has lost more in life than most of us could ever imagine. This boy who would have any and all right to be moody, depressed, act out...any of those things and many more. This boy who has been so hurt in life.
He gets it. He knows. He's right. He knows that being thankful for death doesn't mean it's not okay to be sad about death. He knows being thankful for death doesn't mean we don't miss those who've died. He just knows that we need death. That sometimes death reminds us how awesome life is.
Wow
Monday, November 3, 2014
Halloween
Thursday was trunk-or-treat at church. It was SUPER cold but the kids didn't seem to mind. They ran around to each of those trunks as many times as they were allowed. There were hot dogs, chips, bounce houses, a giant blow-up slide, a cake walk. I think the kids did the cake walk about 10-15 times and still couldn't win! As if we needed the extra treats.
On Friday my work hosted trick-or-treaters. My phone is full of pics of so many cute kiddos. Sadly, it appears I didn't take any pictures of my own cute kiddos! Epic MOM FAIL moment!! For work we made "mummy bars" (Hershey bar wrapped in streamer and googly eye stickers) and we had juice boxes decorated as pumpkins and Frankensteins.
That night our friendly neighbors came over for 50 cent corn dogs. The kids had a bobbing for apple game and some kind of nasty green slime game. They trick-or-treated while the grown ups played games. It's so nice having a teenager who likes to take the younger ones. Much warmer for mom that way.
Ariez didn't make it long before his leg was really bothering him but his siblings and friends shared some of their candy with him.
Oh...even though we have no pictures, we had a baker (bet you can't guess who that was), a ninja (another tough one), a Scream costume (G), and a nurse zombie (R). Trey has never really been excited about trick-or-treating so he stayed home.
On Friday my work hosted trick-or-treaters. My phone is full of pics of so many cute kiddos. Sadly, it appears I didn't take any pictures of my own cute kiddos! Epic MOM FAIL moment!! For work we made "mummy bars" (Hershey bar wrapped in streamer and googly eye stickers) and we had juice boxes decorated as pumpkins and Frankensteins.
That night our friendly neighbors came over for 50 cent corn dogs. The kids had a bobbing for apple game and some kind of nasty green slime game. They trick-or-treated while the grown ups played games. It's so nice having a teenager who likes to take the younger ones. Much warmer for mom that way.
Ariez didn't make it long before his leg was really bothering him but his siblings and friends shared some of their candy with him.
Oh...even though we have no pictures, we had a baker (bet you can't guess who that was), a ninja (another tough one), a Scream costume (G), and a nurse zombie (R). Trey has never really been excited about trick-or-treating so he stayed home.
Monday, October 27, 2014
The Stick (weekend pt. 2)
It was a little bigger than a stick but not quite the size of an actual branch really. Either way, when you see it sticking out of your son's leg, it looks huge!
Ariez, Trey, and M (neighbor boy) were playing swords, as all good boys do. Something went terribly wrong. While testing the strength of the Ariez' stick, he missed Trey's stick and it ended up right in his leg.
It stayed there while we called 911 and held onto him, waiting for what seemed forever for the ambulance and the professionals to get there. It turns out that dispatcher sent our ambulance to the wrong house but they got here. Our wonderful neighbor came and helped hold him down and helped to keep him calm so I could talk to the 911 operator and Steve could keep the stick from moving and doing anymore damage.
In all, we had 2 cop cars, 1 ambulance, 1 firetruck, and 1 Rescue Suburban in front of our house. The kids without sticks in them did a great job staying calm and directing the EMT's to our backyard.
Ariez rode in the back of the ambulance and I in the front for the ride to the hospital. No sirens or lights so the ride seemed to take FOREVER. Of course, that could have just been worried mom time. Steve took kids to grandma's house and then met us there.
At the hospital, the doctor asked to take pictures for learning students. I agreed as long as they did not take pictures of his incredibly, played-outside-without-shoes, dirty feet.
Ariez held on like a champ while they gave him 5 shots in the leg to numb the area. Once it was numb, and Ariez quit screaming, they pulled that stick right out and handed it to me. Ariez thought we should burn it. It stayed at the hospital after we were discharged.
Ten days of strong antibiotics. No stiches, just an open hole so that slivers can work their way out, if there are any. Antibiotic cream and gauze to cover and let it heal.
Stick-1
Ariez-0
Ariez, Trey, and M (neighbor boy) were playing swords, as all good boys do. Something went terribly wrong. While testing the strength of the Ariez' stick, he missed Trey's stick and it ended up right in his leg.
It stayed there while we called 911 and held onto him, waiting for what seemed forever for the ambulance and the professionals to get there. It turns out that dispatcher sent our ambulance to the wrong house but they got here. Our wonderful neighbor came and helped hold him down and helped to keep him calm so I could talk to the 911 operator and Steve could keep the stick from moving and doing anymore damage.
In all, we had 2 cop cars, 1 ambulance, 1 firetruck, and 1 Rescue Suburban in front of our house. The kids without sticks in them did a great job staying calm and directing the EMT's to our backyard.
Ariez rode in the back of the ambulance and I in the front for the ride to the hospital. No sirens or lights so the ride seemed to take FOREVER. Of course, that could have just been worried mom time. Steve took kids to grandma's house and then met us there.
At the hospital, the doctor asked to take pictures for learning students. I agreed as long as they did not take pictures of his incredibly, played-outside-without-shoes, dirty feet.
Ariez held on like a champ while they gave him 5 shots in the leg to numb the area. Once it was numb, and Ariez quit screaming, they pulled that stick right out and handed it to me. Ariez thought we should burn it. It stayed at the hospital after we were discharged.
Ten days of strong antibiotics. No stiches, just an open hole so that slivers can work their way out, if there are any. Antibiotic cream and gauze to cover and let it heal.
Stick-1
Ariez-0
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Haunted House (weekend pt. 1)
We had a BIG weekend at our house. It was supposed to be busy...we just didn't know how busy it was going to get! That will be another post. We'll start with Friday.
I don't do haunted houses...usually. Genna and her Big Friend (older) V thought it would be fun to go to a haunted house. They were gracious enough to invite Trey and Kylie. Steve was going to take them but he ended up with the flu for his weekend so I decided I would take them. I was going to just sit in the van and read. Then I thought I should concur some fears. They promised it wouldn't be so bad.
We had dinner at Don and Millie's and started the drive to Eagle Haunts at sunset. Turns out you can't see the raceway quite as well in the dark as you can when the sun is out. I drove us all the way to Elmwood before I realized we had gone too far. Thank God for GPS!
The parking lot was scary. That should have been my sign to turn around. But we met a nice man who gave us coupons for $2 off so that was a bonus!
We met this guy while standing in line.
The first haunted house (under the bleachers) was really scary. Here's the thing though, when your kid screams, that "mom" thing kicks in. Great adrenaline to make it through the crazed tour! At least that one!
We rode a bus to get to the 2nd one. The bus driver was standing up at one point. That was terrifying! They drop you off in the dead of night and make you go through torture. There were zombies, booby traps, clowns with chainsaws! We had to go down a tube slide on a potato sack...IN THE DARK! The kids left me in the maze of scary clowns. Left me! At one point someone, I won't name name's but it wasn't me, screamed and declared "I peed my pants a little!"
They give you cool 3d glasses to wear! How bad can it be? HORRIBLE!!! TERRIFYING AND HORRIBLE!!! Things kep screaming jumping out of the walls and screaming at me. Floating bodies coming at you in the fog with screaming mouths. It was insanely scary!
It was SO MUCH FUN!! This experience will be one that I will remember forever. I'm not sure I'd go again but this is a moment I wouldn't give back for anything in the world. 
I don't do haunted houses...usually. Genna and her Big Friend (older) V thought it would be fun to go to a haunted house. They were gracious enough to invite Trey and Kylie. Steve was going to take them but he ended up with the flu for his weekend so I decided I would take them. I was going to just sit in the van and read. Then I thought I should concur some fears. They promised it wouldn't be so bad.
We had dinner at Don and Millie's and started the drive to Eagle Haunts at sunset. Turns out you can't see the raceway quite as well in the dark as you can when the sun is out. I drove us all the way to Elmwood before I realized we had gone too far. Thank God for GPS!
The parking lot was scary. That should have been my sign to turn around. But we met a nice man who gave us coupons for $2 off so that was a bonus!
We met this guy while standing in line.
The first haunted house (under the bleachers) was really scary. Here's the thing though, when your kid screams, that "mom" thing kicks in. Great adrenaline to make it through the crazed tour! At least that one!
We rode a bus to get to the 2nd one. The bus driver was standing up at one point. That was terrifying! They drop you off in the dead of night and make you go through torture. There were zombies, booby traps, clowns with chainsaws! We had to go down a tube slide on a potato sack...IN THE DARK! The kids left me in the maze of scary clowns. Left me! At one point someone, I won't name name's but it wasn't me, screamed and declared "I peed my pants a little!"
They give you cool 3d glasses to wear! How bad can it be? HORRIBLE!!! TERRIFYING AND HORRIBLE!!! Things kep screaming jumping out of the walls and screaming at me. Floating bodies coming at you in the fog with screaming mouths. It was insanely scary!
It was SO MUCH FUN!! This experience will be one that I will remember forever. I'm not sure I'd go again but this is a moment I wouldn't give back for anything in the world.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Washington, D.C.
The boys are going to Washington, D.C. in March! We've made the commitment to them and now we just have to come up with the money. The whole family is in on the fundraising. It's so amazing to see my kids rally around each other to help each other reach their goals.
The trip is through the school. Tai went when she was an 8th grader. It's so much fun and they learn a LOT! It's such a great experience for them. I'm excited...and nervous (cuz I'm the mom and I'm supposed to be!)
If you'd like to donate and haven't received an email or seen it on fb, let me know! I would be happy to send you an email.
The boys both have separate accounts. I am sending out two emails because there are two boys. If you are able to donate, please don't feel like you need to donate to both. Any amount gifted is incredibly appreciated. The boys don't even see these accounts so they have no idea who donated to who.
And we're off on another adventure!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day
Today is the day set aside to remember all of our angel babies. Not that we would forget them if we didn't have a day but it's nice that the exists.
In 2004, (I know it's a really old study) 15.6% of all preganancies end in miscarriage or stillbirth. I'm not sure if that seems like a lot to you or not. I know if I'm told I only have a 16% chance of something, I don't get too excited. The 16% percent doesn't mean anything to you if you have an angel baby either. It doesn't make you feel any better to know that 16% of the pregnant population is experiencing the same thing.
Most of us know somebody, or are somebody, who has an angel baby. Steve and I have 6 angel babies. I have one more so that makes 7. Each loss effected us in different ways.I think about our angel babies. Some days I think about them a lot and some days I not as much. They are missed and loved. I know I'll be with them again.
Our children know about our angel babies. They think it's funny that they could have 6 other siblings. I've told them that it doesn't really work like that.
When Anitra died, G told me that she could now be with our Heaven babies while we are with her Earth babies. That sounds okay to me. They are all safe.
We love you angel babies. We miss you and getting the chance to know you. We will meet someday.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Women of Faith
I was so blessed this weekend to attend the Women of Faith Tour this year at the Pinnacle Bank Arena. When it was announced that they were coming I desperately wanted to go but did not see how that would be possible. I didn't want to go alone and the tickets were a little expensive. I prayed about it...many times.
As always, God provided a way for that to happen. It was a blessing to be sure.
Here's the biggest thing...Women of Faith...THEY ARE JUST LIKE US!!! They make mistakes, they fail, they struggle to always do the best things, they live lives just like us, they struggle with the same daily issues that all the rest of us struggle with. They are really just like us.
That's probably because anyone woman can truly be a woman of faith. Not all of us can be in the ministry like they are, leading us to be our own women of faith. But all you have to do be a woman of faith is have faith. And it's even ok if somedays, you can have more faith than others. Even if sometimes, you don't think your faith is strong is enough.
The last day and a half are ones that I will keep in my soul forever. These beautiful women had the faith in us to stand up in front of thousands of people and share their lives with us. They shared their very real, not always perfect lives with us. They shared with us how to be better women of faith, knowing that we too have made mistakes, knowing that we WILL make mistakes, and knowing that being a true woman of faith makes all of that okay.
Thank you to my beautiful friend and mentor Heather who has been with me every step of my walk of faith. Being there with you is something I will cherish always.
As always, God provided a way for that to happen. It was a blessing to be sure.
Here's the biggest thing...Women of Faith...THEY ARE JUST LIKE US!!! They make mistakes, they fail, they struggle to always do the best things, they live lives just like us, they struggle with the same daily issues that all the rest of us struggle with. They are really just like us.
That's probably because anyone woman can truly be a woman of faith. Not all of us can be in the ministry like they are, leading us to be our own women of faith. But all you have to do be a woman of faith is have faith. And it's even ok if somedays, you can have more faith than others. Even if sometimes, you don't think your faith is strong is enough.
The last day and a half are ones that I will keep in my soul forever. These beautiful women had the faith in us to stand up in front of thousands of people and share their lives with us. They shared their very real, not always perfect lives with us. They shared with us how to be better women of faith, knowing that we too have made mistakes, knowing that we WILL make mistakes, and knowing that being a true woman of faith makes all of that okay.
Thank you to my beautiful friend and mentor Heather who has been with me every step of my walk of faith. Being there with you is something I will cherish always.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Volleyball
Both of the younger girls asked to play volleyball this season. We thought this was a great idea! We like when they play sports. Actually, it's not really about the sports, it's about them being excited to do extra-curricular activities. We try to limit activities to only one "outside" school time activity a season. Otherwise, there is just no time for anyone to breathe. While I want them to be able to experience everything, I think there is a lot to be said about them, and us, having downtime.
Anyway...volleyball it is for G and R. Unfortunately, they both play on Sunday at the same time in different schools. Steve and Tai work on Sunday so they aren't able to help out. Fortunately Grandma and Grandpa are gracious enough to help out so we can rotate. Sadly I don't get to see each of their games but thankfully they both are able to still play.
This week, Genna played two games so I got to see both of them play in one day. I happened to get pictures of them both serving. I am almost sure both of these went over the net.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
When Meds Attack
Five weeks ago I started a new medication. Med changes are always scary but I know they are necessary and so I pray about it and give it my all. I pray that they will work and that they will not mess me up too much.
Five weeks ago, when I took the first few doses of the new med, they made me horribly sick to my stomach. One of the side effects of this particular med can be weight loss. I know why. It makes you so sick, you have no desire to ever eat again. Luckily for this chunky girl, you get past that and the meds were actually working.
I had adjusted to the 25 mg and was feeling ok. It's time to start the 50. I increase that and am actually feeling pretty good. There appears to be light at the end of the tunnel. Then I increase again. The first few days, I'm good. Slowly, I take a turn. I start to feel edgy, severe depression is seeping it's way back in, the mood swings are coming quicker, the mania is starting to feel very real.
It takes a couple days for me to realize what is going on but when I do, I jump on it. I can't afford to fall into a black hole again. I can't afford to step out of my sanity and live in my bedroom and be as anti-social as possible. I leave work and call the doctor and tell her what is going on. She thinks it's a reaction to the other medication that I take. We knew that was possible so we start weaning off of that medication. It's a bitch to do but necessary if this is the result of the two mixing poorly together.
Thursday night I start to itch. Like REALLY itch. ALL over my body. There appears to be slight rash on my chest, chin, one arm but I itch ALL OVER. Friday morning the redness has increased and spread. I get ready for work and go in but call my psychiatrist as soon as they open. I tell them what is going on and the nurse calls within a half hour and tells me to not take anymore of that med. If I haven't taken it for the day, I'm not supposed to.
An hour later the doctor called. The rash had spread to my face, my head, my legs. I was seen at Urgent Care, given a steriod shot (which comes with it's own story of me crying like a baby) and told to take Benadryl every 4 hours.
I was having an allergic reaction to the medication. Apparently about 1 in 1000 people get this rash and it can sometimes be really serious and you end up in the hospital with some life altering syndrome. Thankfully, it doesn't appear to be that serious for me. But I can't take the med anymore. I can't wean off of it like I should.
Currently, I'm in a tailspin. There was more drama over the new med they want to start me on as soon as I'm clear of the other med. More stress and tears and frustrations. I'm manic, depressed, tired, completely overwhelmed with the most simple life task. I of course can't shut down completely. I'm a busy mom with schedules to keep and meals to be fed, and laundry to be done. There are more tears and more fits and more "meltdowns" while all of this is going on. Tailspins suck. There is no other way around it. I will do the best I can to get through this as well and will pray that they next med will be more successful. Really at this point, that's all I can do.
Five weeks ago, when I took the first few doses of the new med, they made me horribly sick to my stomach. One of the side effects of this particular med can be weight loss. I know why. It makes you so sick, you have no desire to ever eat again. Luckily for this chunky girl, you get past that and the meds were actually working.
I had adjusted to the 25 mg and was feeling ok. It's time to start the 50. I increase that and am actually feeling pretty good. There appears to be light at the end of the tunnel. Then I increase again. The first few days, I'm good. Slowly, I take a turn. I start to feel edgy, severe depression is seeping it's way back in, the mood swings are coming quicker, the mania is starting to feel very real.
It takes a couple days for me to realize what is going on but when I do, I jump on it. I can't afford to fall into a black hole again. I can't afford to step out of my sanity and live in my bedroom and be as anti-social as possible. I leave work and call the doctor and tell her what is going on. She thinks it's a reaction to the other medication that I take. We knew that was possible so we start weaning off of that medication. It's a bitch to do but necessary if this is the result of the two mixing poorly together.
Thursday night I start to itch. Like REALLY itch. ALL over my body. There appears to be slight rash on my chest, chin, one arm but I itch ALL OVER. Friday morning the redness has increased and spread. I get ready for work and go in but call my psychiatrist as soon as they open. I tell them what is going on and the nurse calls within a half hour and tells me to not take anymore of that med. If I haven't taken it for the day, I'm not supposed to.
An hour later the doctor called. The rash had spread to my face, my head, my legs. I was seen at Urgent Care, given a steriod shot (which comes with it's own story of me crying like a baby) and told to take Benadryl every 4 hours.
I was having an allergic reaction to the medication. Apparently about 1 in 1000 people get this rash and it can sometimes be really serious and you end up in the hospital with some life altering syndrome. Thankfully, it doesn't appear to be that serious for me. But I can't take the med anymore. I can't wean off of it like I should.
Currently, I'm in a tailspin. There was more drama over the new med they want to start me on as soon as I'm clear of the other med. More stress and tears and frustrations. I'm manic, depressed, tired, completely overwhelmed with the most simple life task. I of course can't shut down completely. I'm a busy mom with schedules to keep and meals to be fed, and laundry to be done. There are more tears and more fits and more "meltdowns" while all of this is going on. Tailspins suck. There is no other way around it. I will do the best I can to get through this as well and will pray that they next med will be more successful. Really at this point, that's all I can do.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Lack of Freezer Meals
I have had people ask me about my decision, and tips, for freezer meals. If you are looking for recipes and tips, that's not really what this one is about but hopefully soon I will put some tips together.
Here's what I CAN tell you today...
NOT having meals in my freezer is stressing me out! Knowing that I have to get home in a hurry and get dinner made and get the kids fed and get homework done and showers and OH MY if someone has an activity...
When we initially did the freezer meals, we did 10 meals. There was also some meat that we just had cut up so we'd have it for things. The 10 meals lasted about 3 weeks because, let's face it, sometimes life just happens and the schedule gets tipped upside down and we have to grab food on the go. Sometimes life happens and I get no sleep the night before and I'm totally exhausted and so we have "free choice" and I don't even try to pretend to be a great mom who never would feed her kids hot dogs and mac n' cheese for dinner.
So for 3 weeks things were moving right along. I wasn't stressed about meal time. I would take something out the night before, throw in the oven or pan while I went and changed my clothes. We could eat and we wouldn't even feel extremely rushed. It was wonderful.
One beautiful day I realized we were out of freezer meals. I did what any good mom would do and I totally panicked! For 2 weeks I have not had freezer meals. It stinks. I don't like it. I don't like not being prepared. I don't like having to figure out on the fly what I will be having for meals for the week. It's not as budget friendly. We have hot dogs and "free choice" more often.
I am in the process of planning and "listing" my next freezer meal cooking day. I don't know how I survived before but I know it's easier this way. Freezer meal planning and cooking day is a lot of work. I've learned a few things so I don't think it will be quite as stressful this time. Also, I'm not planning on other activities that day so I won't have to rush through making as many meals as I can. That was a huge issue last time creating way more stress than necessary.
Hopefully soon I will share my success and tips for freezer meals. Right now, I'm only really able to tell you that my life was better with it!
Here's what I CAN tell you today...
NOT having meals in my freezer is stressing me out! Knowing that I have to get home in a hurry and get dinner made and get the kids fed and get homework done and showers and OH MY if someone has an activity...
When we initially did the freezer meals, we did 10 meals. There was also some meat that we just had cut up so we'd have it for things. The 10 meals lasted about 3 weeks because, let's face it, sometimes life just happens and the schedule gets tipped upside down and we have to grab food on the go. Sometimes life happens and I get no sleep the night before and I'm totally exhausted and so we have "free choice" and I don't even try to pretend to be a great mom who never would feed her kids hot dogs and mac n' cheese for dinner.
So for 3 weeks things were moving right along. I wasn't stressed about meal time. I would take something out the night before, throw in the oven or pan while I went and changed my clothes. We could eat and we wouldn't even feel extremely rushed. It was wonderful.
One beautiful day I realized we were out of freezer meals. I did what any good mom would do and I totally panicked! For 2 weeks I have not had freezer meals. It stinks. I don't like it. I don't like not being prepared. I don't like having to figure out on the fly what I will be having for meals for the week. It's not as budget friendly. We have hot dogs and "free choice" more often.
I am in the process of planning and "listing" my next freezer meal cooking day. I don't know how I survived before but I know it's easier this way. Freezer meal planning and cooking day is a lot of work. I've learned a few things so I don't think it will be quite as stressful this time. Also, I'm not planning on other activities that day so I won't have to rush through making as many meals as I can. That was a huge issue last time creating way more stress than necessary.
Hopefully soon I will share my success and tips for freezer meals. Right now, I'm only really able to tell you that my life was better with it!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Never Forget
Never forget the incredible bravery shown on 9/11/01.
Never forget the heroes of Flight 93.
Never forget the unity shown by our country on 9/11/01. Something designed to tear our country apart, bounded us together.
Never forget that when our country is under attack, we will defend her.
Never forget the generosity of people lined up to feed, shelter, and clothe people during this tragedy.
Never forget the lines of people at the blood banks and Red Cross to give blood.
Never forget all the souls that were lost on 9/11/01. Over 3,000 people died that day, how many people called out to God for the first time?
Never forget the stories of the fallen managers who stayed with their co-workers, the last phone calls that some were able to make, the ferries that worked to get people home.
Never forget where you were at that moment. Let it live in you forever. In that moment, you were changed forever.
Never forget the first responders. Never forget those of them that didn't come home that day. Never forget the ones who suffer in health today because of their bravery in that moment.
Never forget the importance of our flag flying that day after the collapse of the towers.
Never forget where you were at that moment. Let it live in you forever. In that moment, you were changed forever.
Never forget the first responders. Never forget those of them that didn't come home that day. Never forget the ones who suffer in health today because of their bravery in that moment.
Never forget the importance of our flag flying that day after the collapse of the towers.
Never forget our military who stood ready to defend us that day, and every day before and after that.
Never forget our government leaders who made hard decisions that day.
Never forget how truly blessed we are to be Americans and the rights and responsibilities we have because of that.
Never forget how you woke up that day one person, and went to sleep that night another person.
Never forget.
Never forget our government leaders who made hard decisions that day.
Never forget how truly blessed we are to be Americans and the rights and responsibilities we have because of that.
Never forget how you woke up that day one person, and went to sleep that night another person.
Never forget.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Today
The 10th of September is the day that I actually associate with losing Anitra. That was the day she broke and went to the hospital. I knew that day that I would never have her back. I don't know how I knew, but I did. I called Steve and told him that I was really scared because I didn't think she was going to make it through this one. The doctors and nurses couldn't hear us tell them that she was not okay that day. She had to go to the hospital twice that day. Whenever someone asks me what day my sister died, I have to hesitate because in my heart it was the 10th even though in reality it was the 13th.
By day of the week, Wed, two years ago today I saw my sister for the last time. I picked her up from the hospital at noon and I wanted to believe that she was better and that she would be ok even though my heart knew differently. We picked up Steve from work and got lunch from Amigo's. We had to go through the drive thru because she didn't have any shoes on. At her house, I hugged her for the last time. I wish I would have known it was the last time I would hug her, get to see her, get to touch her. I would have held on longer. I would have said I love you louder. I would have driven a little bit slower so we would be together longer.
By day of the week, Wed, two years ago today I saw my sister for the last time. I picked her up from the hospital at noon and I wanted to believe that she was better and that she would be ok even though my heart knew differently. We picked up Steve from work and got lunch from Amigo's. We had to go through the drive thru because she didn't have any shoes on. At her house, I hugged her for the last time. I wish I would have known it was the last time I would hug her, get to see her, get to touch her. I would have held on longer. I would have said I love you louder. I would have driven a little bit slower so we would be together longer.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
TWLOHA
"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."
I have a tattoo that means love on my wrist. To show my support for others and for my sis. It's the last text she ever sent me. <3 u 2 That meant love from her.
This week is National Suicide Prevention Week. Tomorrow, the 10th, is National Suicide Awareness Day.
We all know someone who is affected by mental health disorders of some type. We all know someone who lives with depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies and thoughts. I ask that you take a moment of your day, just a moment, to smile at someone you wouldn't necessarily smile at, pray (if that's your thing like me) for people who live with these battles, show someone you care.
Somehow, someway, be kind. Not that you aren't already...I only have kind friends, but something extra. Go outside of your comfort zone to let someone know that you care. Let them know that they aren't alone in the world. I'm not suggesting everyone get a tattoo on their arm...although, seriously...how cool would that be?!
Depression, anxiety, mental health disorders, suicide, self-injury, etc...can be SO lonely! Let people know they aren't alone in this world. Not just tomorrow but especially tomorrow.
Honor those we've loved and lost to these diseases. Make them count. Make the diseases count.
There are many, many organizations that support these types of disorders and diseases. A simple google.com search will show you the way. For more information about TWLOHA please go to http://twloha.com/home.
I have a tattoo that means love on my wrist. To show my support for others and for my sis. It's the last text she ever sent me. <3 u 2 That meant love from her.
This week is National Suicide Prevention Week. Tomorrow, the 10th, is National Suicide Awareness Day.
We all know someone who is affected by mental health disorders of some type. We all know someone who lives with depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies and thoughts. I ask that you take a moment of your day, just a moment, to smile at someone you wouldn't necessarily smile at, pray (if that's your thing like me) for people who live with these battles, show someone you care.
Somehow, someway, be kind. Not that you aren't already...I only have kind friends, but something extra. Go outside of your comfort zone to let someone know that you care. Let them know that they aren't alone in the world. I'm not suggesting everyone get a tattoo on their arm...although, seriously...how cool would that be?!
Depression, anxiety, mental health disorders, suicide, self-injury, etc...can be SO lonely! Let people know they aren't alone in this world. Not just tomorrow but especially tomorrow.
Honor those we've loved and lost to these diseases. Make them count. Make the diseases count.
There are many, many organizations that support these types of disorders and diseases. A simple google.com search will show you the way. For more information about TWLOHA please go to http://twloha.com/home.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Life Lessons a.k.a. The Accident
It starts with a phone call no parent ever wants to get but all parents know there's a chance they will get. The phone rings at 10:40 pm and when you answer, you hear your child crying hysterically and you just know.
A week ago I got that phone call. Poor Tai was the crying child on the other end of the phone. Bless her for being able to say first "I'm ok mom." Then..."I've wrecked the van and it's all my fault and I don't know what to do."
Since I'm able to almost breathe again since she said she was ok, I hurry to get dressed while Steve is already in the car ready to go. I kept her on the line until the cops got there and they made her get off the phone. I'm pretty sure she could almost breathe again by then.
She was coming home from work and the windows were a little bit foggy. She was coming up to a red light and saaw it turn green so she kept driving at 45 mph. Unfortunately, she didn't see the cars sitting at the red light. Unfortunately she hit the first car she came upon. That car pushed forward and hit the car in front of it.
Everything is okay. The van is totalled but it works out because we got a really nice van to replace that one because van's are replaceable and people are not. The daughter is really sore but it's ok because she's healing nicely. Not as quickly as she'd like, but she is healing. The ticket is ok because it means she's alive and that she will learn to always pay really good attention.
I keep telling her that she doesn't have to learn every lesson the same way I did. I totalled my dad's car at 16 because I wasn't paying complete attention to the road too. I'm hoping she doesn't learn all of her lessons the same way I learned mine, just as my parents hoped I wouldn't learn all of mine the same way they learned theirs.
She said it's too soon to make jokes or call her Crash but she knows they are coming and she knows that they will be said with love and with relief that she really is ok.
Friday, August 15, 2014
What Would Jesus Do?
A simple catch-phrase. It took off a few years ago. I remember the bracelets, the t-shirts. I was trying to explain the movement to G.
The other day a friend was over and for some reason on this day, they both just seemed to be getting under each other's skin. They both kept pushing and pushing until not nice words were said and not nice actions were done. Feelings were hurt and tears were spent. Life lessons were learned. How we cope when things turn from "getting annoyed" to being hurtful in our thoughts and actions. Important lessons for a 10 year old.
When the friend left and G and I were able to talk more about it I brought up the "WWJD" movement. She talked about it. She said "mom, what if I don't know what Jesus would do in that situation?" That's a pretty good question and sometimes I don't know what Jesus would do. I told her that when we don't know what He would do, we know one thing, "Jesus would love."
We talked about how she, as one little girl, has the power to make someone's day. Offer a kind smile, offer to play with someone who looks a little lonely on the play ground, ask that kid sitting by themselves at lunch to sit with you and your friends. Offer kind words to your friend who just seems to be having an off day. Heck, if they don't want to hear your kind words, just sit with them and be.
With all the sadness in the world, with everyone running in different directions because of busy schedules, with all the different mental health issues and behavioral issues that our kids see in classes every day, with all the madness and craziness of school starting, I encourage my kiddos not to get lost in all of it. I encourage them to not get so hung up on the details. I don't want them to forget who they are. I don't want them to forget what their purpose in life is...even if they don't know their purpose in life.
So I tell them, "If ever you don't know what to do, ask yourself what would Jesus do." I know that Jesus would love and as long as you love, you are way ahead in life.
The other day a friend was over and for some reason on this day, they both just seemed to be getting under each other's skin. They both kept pushing and pushing until not nice words were said and not nice actions were done. Feelings were hurt and tears were spent. Life lessons were learned. How we cope when things turn from "getting annoyed" to being hurtful in our thoughts and actions. Important lessons for a 10 year old.
When the friend left and G and I were able to talk more about it I brought up the "WWJD" movement. She talked about it. She said "mom, what if I don't know what Jesus would do in that situation?" That's a pretty good question and sometimes I don't know what Jesus would do. I told her that when we don't know what He would do, we know one thing, "Jesus would love."
We talked about how she, as one little girl, has the power to make someone's day. Offer a kind smile, offer to play with someone who looks a little lonely on the play ground, ask that kid sitting by themselves at lunch to sit with you and your friends. Offer kind words to your friend who just seems to be having an off day. Heck, if they don't want to hear your kind words, just sit with them and be.
With all the sadness in the world, with everyone running in different directions because of busy schedules, with all the different mental health issues and behavioral issues that our kids see in classes every day, with all the madness and craziness of school starting, I encourage my kiddos not to get lost in all of it. I encourage them to not get so hung up on the details. I don't want them to forget who they are. I don't want them to forget what their purpose in life is...even if they don't know their purpose in life.
So I tell them, "If ever you don't know what to do, ask yourself what would Jesus do." I know that Jesus would love and as long as you love, you are way ahead in life.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
What Others Think
Most of us have the desired to be liked. Most of us look for validation in other people's opinions of us. It bothers most of us if someone doesn't like us. It bothers most of us if we think that someone else thinks we've made a mistake or that we are doing something wrong.
The truth is that we are never going to be liked by everyone. We are probably not going to be liked by everyone we seek to please. There will always be someone who doesn't think every decision, everything we do, is what they would do in the same situation.
That's okay. AND it's not really any of my business. I don't really need to be liked by everyone. It's okay for me to make unpopular decisions. It's okay for me to stand my ground on things that I feel strongly about. It's not really any of my business if the guy down the street thinks I mow too often, or not often enough. It's not really any of my business to know that someone thinks I'm too fat or (haha) too skinny. It's not any of my business if someone else thinks they have all the answers to all the things that ail me. It's not any of my business if someone else thinks I should make my kids eat everything on their plates.
It doesn't even serve a purpose to know what everyone else thinks of me. I'm not taking a poll. It's not because I "just don't care what anyone thinks". It's not because I think I know everything. It's not even because I think I'm doing everything right. It's really because unless I'm actually going to do what everyone else thinks I should be doing or act how everyone thinks I should I act, then why do I need to know. All of the people in the world have a different opinion of the rights and wrongs of others so essentially by doing what someone else thinks is right, I'm going to set off a huge storm of other people who think I'm doing it wrong. Then what happens?
So where is the answer? It's none of my business what someone else thinks of me. I am going to do what I think is best. I'm going to be the size that I think is the best. I'm going to drive the car I think I should drive. I'm going to live and do what's best for God, my family, and myself. That's whose opinion really matters at the end of the day. That's who I will answer to at the end of the day.
This is what I work on teaching my children. By doing so, I hope they realize that they are great people just the way they are. They are a work in progress and are loved in spite, and because of, it all. I also hope this teaches them that just as it's not their business what other people think of them, it's not really anybody else's business to know what they think of them either.
I want them to do what's best for God, for their family, and for themselves. I want them to be kind. I want them to live in God's way.
The truth is that we are never going to be liked by everyone. We are probably not going to be liked by everyone we seek to please. There will always be someone who doesn't think every decision, everything we do, is what they would do in the same situation.
That's okay. AND it's not really any of my business. I don't really need to be liked by everyone. It's okay for me to make unpopular decisions. It's okay for me to stand my ground on things that I feel strongly about. It's not really any of my business if the guy down the street thinks I mow too often, or not often enough. It's not really any of my business to know that someone thinks I'm too fat or (haha) too skinny. It's not any of my business if someone else thinks they have all the answers to all the things that ail me. It's not any of my business if someone else thinks I should make my kids eat everything on their plates.
It doesn't even serve a purpose to know what everyone else thinks of me. I'm not taking a poll. It's not because I "just don't care what anyone thinks". It's not because I think I know everything. It's not even because I think I'm doing everything right. It's really because unless I'm actually going to do what everyone else thinks I should be doing or act how everyone thinks I should I act, then why do I need to know. All of the people in the world have a different opinion of the rights and wrongs of others so essentially by doing what someone else thinks is right, I'm going to set off a huge storm of other people who think I'm doing it wrong. Then what happens?
So where is the answer? It's none of my business what someone else thinks of me. I am going to do what I think is best. I'm going to be the size that I think is the best. I'm going to drive the car I think I should drive. I'm going to live and do what's best for God, my family, and myself. That's whose opinion really matters at the end of the day. That's who I will answer to at the end of the day.
This is what I work on teaching my children. By doing so, I hope they realize that they are great people just the way they are. They are a work in progress and are loved in spite, and because of, it all. I also hope this teaches them that just as it's not their business what other people think of them, it's not really anybody else's business to know what they think of them either.
I want them to do what's best for God, for their family, and for themselves. I want them to be kind. I want them to live in God's way.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Off They Go
Day one for our elementary and middle school kids was yesterday. I am happy to report that they all had a great first day and no homework was given out! Not even homework for mom, which makes me SUPER happy too!
Ariez and Trey reported to their different teams for 8th grade. I thought they'd be more excited about being the big men on campus but apparently it doesn't matter all that much and the thought of having to enter at the furthest doors away was not a nice one for them. It makes me giggle but I guess it's a big deal to the 8th graders.
Genna & Rey had great days too. Rey decided that 3rd grade might not be so bad after all and that maybe even Mrs. Wilson will not be so bad. She really wanted the other 3rd grade teacher but I think only because Genna had her. We are learning about giving people a fair chance and entering the room with a positive attitude. Genna originally was really sad about her teacher and then yesterday declared her to be the nicest teacher ever. I look forward to working with both of them.
Tai started her junior year off today! I can't believe she's already a junior. I know how quickly the last couple of years have gone and I know soon enough it will be time to take her to college. I hope we can just breathe and focus on her being a junior first. She is still attending zoo school and was excited today to get to see all her friends. She started the day out with sad news that her favorite teacher is battling breast cancer. We will be praying for Mrs. Holliday! She has been working her tush off like crazy the last 3 weeks at Culver's. The summer hours are great for the money but I'm sure she's looking forward to time off too!
Rythm is working at Cane's now and is getting ready to register for classes. SCC starts in October and I assured her that I would be at her place on her first day to take her pictures too! She thinks it's rather wonderful that the other kids have to be back in school so soon before she starts.
I am looking forward to earlier bedtimes at our house! I may even be able to write more often!
Ariez and Trey reported to their different teams for 8th grade. I thought they'd be more excited about being the big men on campus but apparently it doesn't matter all that much and the thought of having to enter at the furthest doors away was not a nice one for them. It makes me giggle but I guess it's a big deal to the 8th graders.
Genna & Rey had great days too. Rey decided that 3rd grade might not be so bad after all and that maybe even Mrs. Wilson will not be so bad. She really wanted the other 3rd grade teacher but I think only because Genna had her. We are learning about giving people a fair chance and entering the room with a positive attitude. Genna originally was really sad about her teacher and then yesterday declared her to be the nicest teacher ever. I look forward to working with both of them.
Tai started her junior year off today! I can't believe she's already a junior. I know how quickly the last couple of years have gone and I know soon enough it will be time to take her to college. I hope we can just breathe and focus on her being a junior first. She is still attending zoo school and was excited today to get to see all her friends. She started the day out with sad news that her favorite teacher is battling breast cancer. We will be praying for Mrs. Holliday! She has been working her tush off like crazy the last 3 weeks at Culver's. The summer hours are great for the money but I'm sure she's looking forward to time off too!
Rythm is working at Cane's now and is getting ready to register for classes. SCC starts in October and I assured her that I would be at her place on her first day to take her pictures too! She thinks it's rather wonderful that the other kids have to be back in school so soon before she starts.
I am looking forward to earlier bedtimes at our house! I may even be able to write more often!
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Not a Death Sentence
Depression is not a death sentence. We've all seen the statistics so I'm not going to repeat them. Statistics don't apply to anyone who is living in that moment. Not to mention that I don't know the statistics right off the top of my head and am way to lazy to go look them up.
I digress...DEPRESSION IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE!
When I got the message yesterday about Robin Williams, I didn't know how to process it. I felt sick. My world was spinning. Not only because this great man was gone, but because if Robin freaking Williams couldn't survive depression, what hope did the rest of us have? What was left for the rest of us if this beautiful life who had given so much to the rest of the world couldn't find his own peace in life? If rehab and doctors and medications that were not out of his reach couldn't work for him, what did that mean for those who can't afford the doctors, assistants, and medications? If the man who made millions smile and breathe and live couldn't smile, breathe and live for himself, who could? How does a "regular" person survive depression, addiction, anxiety, and mental illness if someone larger then life can't?
I don't know. I don't know the answer to those questions. I don't know how to survive depression. I don't know if I will survive depression. I don't know that I won't become that statistic. I also don't know that I won't walk outside and get hit by a bus tomorrow. I don't know that my ceiling won't collapse and I'll be crushed to death while I sleep.
I know that it's possible to survive depression. I know that depression doesn't have to be a death sentence. I know today that even though Robin Williams couldn't survive depression, others can.
My heart is heavy for the survivors of Robin Williams. My prayers go out to them and the dark days that may come.
My prayers go out to all the people surviving depression, and all mental illnesses, one day at a time. It's not easy an easy battle but it IS survivable.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Catch Up
Okay...it's been awhile. I got totally side-tracked by life again so here's a run down of what I've missed...
1)Graduation!! Rythm graduated on May 25th. We are so proud of her and excited for her future. We had a great party and it was great to see friends and family. I think she had a good time. She was a great hostess and I am extremely proud of how she handled herself.
2)Cyndi Lauper and Cher concert. All I can say is wow! I believe Cyndi is the first, and most original, real-life unicorn. I love her. As she was playing "True Colors", I was vividly remembering how often I probably drove my parents crazy listening to that song over and over. Cher was a fantastic production. If you ever have a chance to see her, even if you're not a huge fan, you have to go. Her show is a true show. Less of a concert and more of an amazing production.
3)Rythm moved out!! She got her own apartment and she is doing very well...or so I hear! I miss her face and it's hard to believe that she is on her own. The second night was hell as storms blew through and I knew her "promise to go to the basement if the sirens blew" was exactly the same kind of promise I would have made at that time in my life. Currently I'm trying to give her space while still letting her know we love her and miss her. This is a new chapter for all of us.
4)Framily visit from Witchita. "Framily" is a term used to describe friends that are more like family. Chosen family. Anyway...we had a great time going to the zoo with them and the kids so enjoyed meeting new cousins. Let me tell you, the zoo with 12 people is a lot of work! Totally worth it!
5)Tai was in KC at the same time as our framily visit. She went with a good friend and she had a blast. She totally scoped out all the great things that we will get to do next weekend on our family vacation. She is growing up way too fast!
6)Reunion Time. Last weekend we were in K-town for Steve's 20 year high school reunion. Wow...those years seem to have flown by. Tai was with her bio-dad and so it was just the 4 younger kids. This is a weird feeling and while logistically it makes things easier and less expensive, I'm not in love with not having all 6 of my kids around. It's weird...I have been overwhelmed a lot with 6 kiddos and in a blink of an eye, it's become so natural that when they aren't all there, my heart feels a little lost.
So that has been the last 5 weeks. It's been crazy and busy and what our life is all about right about. We are currently getting ready to send Tai to KC for Culinary Arts camp and then our family vacation. I will try to do better staying updated.
xxoo
1)Graduation!! Rythm graduated on May 25th. We are so proud of her and excited for her future. We had a great party and it was great to see friends and family. I think she had a good time. She was a great hostess and I am extremely proud of how she handled herself.
2)Cyndi Lauper and Cher concert. All I can say is wow! I believe Cyndi is the first, and most original, real-life unicorn. I love her. As she was playing "True Colors", I was vividly remembering how often I probably drove my parents crazy listening to that song over and over. Cher was a fantastic production. If you ever have a chance to see her, even if you're not a huge fan, you have to go. Her show is a true show. Less of a concert and more of an amazing production.
3)Rythm moved out!! She got her own apartment and she is doing very well...or so I hear! I miss her face and it's hard to believe that she is on her own. The second night was hell as storms blew through and I knew her "promise to go to the basement if the sirens blew" was exactly the same kind of promise I would have made at that time in my life. Currently I'm trying to give her space while still letting her know we love her and miss her. This is a new chapter for all of us.
4)Framily visit from Witchita. "Framily" is a term used to describe friends that are more like family. Chosen family. Anyway...we had a great time going to the zoo with them and the kids so enjoyed meeting new cousins. Let me tell you, the zoo with 12 people is a lot of work! Totally worth it!
5)Tai was in KC at the same time as our framily visit. She went with a good friend and she had a blast. She totally scoped out all the great things that we will get to do next weekend on our family vacation. She is growing up way too fast!
6)Reunion Time. Last weekend we were in K-town for Steve's 20 year high school reunion. Wow...those years seem to have flown by. Tai was with her bio-dad and so it was just the 4 younger kids. This is a weird feeling and while logistically it makes things easier and less expensive, I'm not in love with not having all 6 of my kids around. It's weird...I have been overwhelmed a lot with 6 kiddos and in a blink of an eye, it's become so natural that when they aren't all there, my heart feels a little lost.
So that has been the last 5 weeks. It's been crazy and busy and what our life is all about right about. We are currently getting ready to send Tai to KC for Culinary Arts camp and then our family vacation. I will try to do better staying updated.
xxoo
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Cast Off Day!
Today was the big day! It's the moment he's been waiting for...three weeks in the making...and here it is!!!
First the pins were in his finger...
Then they were out! A little blood but he did awesome. A little pressure but no pain! He assured the doctor that he was NOT going to pass out. Thank God!
Man was it stinky!! He (well all of us really) are excited that he gets to shower tonight without the bag!
So now he has a two-finger buddy system. The doctor said it was healed enough to take the pins out but not healed enough for much contact so he's going to be really careful the next couple of weeks and with a little bit of physical therapy to get the kinks out, he'll back to playing four-square just in time for summer!
First the pins were in his finger...
Then they were out! A little blood but he did awesome. A little pressure but no pain! He assured the doctor that he was NOT going to pass out. Thank God!Man was it stinky!! He (well all of us really) are excited that he gets to shower tonight without the bag!
So now he has a two-finger buddy system. The doctor said it was healed enough to take the pins out but not healed enough for much contact so he's going to be really careful the next couple of weeks and with a little bit of physical therapy to get the kinks out, he'll back to playing four-square just in time for summer!
Monday, May 12, 2014
The Memories We Leave Behind
Every night when we sit down to dinner we go around the table and tell the best part of our day. You can have up to three but no less than one. It's not a time for your negatives from the day, only positives. We do this if there are 3 people at the table or 8 people at the table.
Last night I wanted the focus to be on about Mother's Day and memories that we have. We were eating in the basement because of the tornado sirens but we still did it. Each child first got to tell their favorite "mom memory" or something mom did/does that makes you feel special. This allowed A & R to reflect on their mom and allowed T, T, & G the chance to reflect on their mom.
Then we did their favorite "aunt memory" or something their aunt did/does that makes them feel special. This one allowed A & R to focus on me and allowed T, ,T, & G the chance to reflect on Aunt Anitra. I think it's important to be able to do both.
What I learned last night was that my grandchildren and great grandchildren are going to think that Anitra and I were CRAZY!! Chasing kids with slippers and smacking them with them. Slugging them while driving down the street for slug bugs and accidentally clawing them instead. Anitra luring the children into her van with candy only to not have candy and a lecture on stranger danger. Aunts and moms who laugh hysterically in half sleep moments. Anitra stealing table stuff from Red Robin and her inability to say the names of things properly. Bus stop craziness. Large coffee from McD's with 10 cream/10 sugars. Road trips! Moving couches by flipping them end over end because they were too heavy to be lifted.
What I learned was that the memories we leave behind are so much more important than anything else that we leave when we pass. These are the things that will keep us alive for future generations. These are the things that live in the living forever.
Last night I wanted the focus to be on about Mother's Day and memories that we have. We were eating in the basement because of the tornado sirens but we still did it. Each child first got to tell their favorite "mom memory" or something mom did/does that makes you feel special. This allowed A & R to reflect on their mom and allowed T, T, & G the chance to reflect on their mom.
Then we did their favorite "aunt memory" or something their aunt did/does that makes them feel special. This one allowed A & R to focus on me and allowed T, ,T, & G the chance to reflect on Aunt Anitra. I think it's important to be able to do both.
What I learned last night was that my grandchildren and great grandchildren are going to think that Anitra and I were CRAZY!! Chasing kids with slippers and smacking them with them. Slugging them while driving down the street for slug bugs and accidentally clawing them instead. Anitra luring the children into her van with candy only to not have candy and a lecture on stranger danger. Aunts and moms who laugh hysterically in half sleep moments. Anitra stealing table stuff from Red Robin and her inability to say the names of things properly. Bus stop craziness. Large coffee from McD's with 10 cream/10 sugars. Road trips! Moving couches by flipping them end over end because they were too heavy to be lifted.
What I learned was that the memories we leave behind are so much more important than anything else that we leave when we pass. These are the things that will keep us alive for future generations. These are the things that live in the living forever.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Happy Mother's Day
This morning the family, minus one, went to church and had an early lunch/late breakfast at Amigos. I was greeted this morning with beautiful lilies....
And some new, very sweet charms for my bracelet...
This afternoon, after the tornado watch was issued but before the storm actually hits, we wrote notes to Anitra and had them put in balloons and sent them to Heaven. Later this evening we'll be making memorial stones for her.
It was a nice day. Tai, Genna, and I went to the grocery store and then they helped me clean out the fridge. It looks nice and organized now. It helps me breathe a little. The boys are working on laundry so at least every one will have clean clothes for the week. And for dinner we are having frozen pizza because this mom is not making dinner tonight.
I hope you all had a beautiful day also.
And some new, very sweet charms for my bracelet...
This afternoon, after the tornado watch was issued but before the storm actually hits, we wrote notes to Anitra and had them put in balloons and sent them to Heaven. Later this evening we'll be making memorial stones for her.
It was a nice day. Tai, Genna, and I went to the grocery store and then they helped me clean out the fridge. It looks nice and organized now. It helps me breathe a little. The boys are working on laundry so at least every one will have clean clothes for the week. And for dinner we are having frozen pizza because this mom is not making dinner tonight.
I hope you all had a beautiful day also.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Let's Get Thankful
As part of Thankful Thursday I've added four to my list...
1. Pictures. The saying is that pictures tell a thousand words. Here's how that is most often true. You come across a picture and it brings back a lot of memories of the moment that it was taken. It's best when you look at old pictures of family WITH family. The laughs and stories that come from that are the best.
2. Cooking Shows. Tai and I watch them together. She gets to stay up a little later than the younger kids and typically we watch a cooking show. We seem to like the competitions the most. My current favorite is Cutthroat Kitchen with Alton Brown. Tai loves to keep so she gets really inspired by these shows.
3. Hugs from my kids. Science has proven that 20 seconds of physical touch is really good for you. It raises levels of all those good things you need. Hugs are powerful. They say things that words can't always say. Trey and I have a special thing where when he is getting anxious or feels stressed, we hold hands. He looks at me and says "20 seconds mom?" and I know exactly what he needs. The best part is that it usually lasts a lot longer than 20 seconds. I love that I have a 13 year old boy who still likes to hold his mom's hand. The kids give me a hug every night before bed, well the younger 4. I like to hold tight for at least 20 seconds. I'm convinced it helps them have better dreams. Well maybe not, but it makes me feel better.
4. School. I am so blessed that my kids like school. I don't have to fight with them about going. That isn't to say that we haven't had our issues but for the most part, they all love it. Some of them like the social aspect the best but hey, that's something too. Right now I think that most of them are really ready for summer but come August, they will be excited to go once again.
1. Pictures. The saying is that pictures tell a thousand words. Here's how that is most often true. You come across a picture and it brings back a lot of memories of the moment that it was taken. It's best when you look at old pictures of family WITH family. The laughs and stories that come from that are the best.
2. Cooking Shows. Tai and I watch them together. She gets to stay up a little later than the younger kids and typically we watch a cooking show. We seem to like the competitions the most. My current favorite is Cutthroat Kitchen with Alton Brown. Tai loves to keep so she gets really inspired by these shows.
3. Hugs from my kids. Science has proven that 20 seconds of physical touch is really good for you. It raises levels of all those good things you need. Hugs are powerful. They say things that words can't always say. Trey and I have a special thing where when he is getting anxious or feels stressed, we hold hands. He looks at me and says "20 seconds mom?" and I know exactly what he needs. The best part is that it usually lasts a lot longer than 20 seconds. I love that I have a 13 year old boy who still likes to hold his mom's hand. The kids give me a hug every night before bed, well the younger 4. I like to hold tight for at least 20 seconds. I'm convinced it helps them have better dreams. Well maybe not, but it makes me feel better.
4. School. I am so blessed that my kids like school. I don't have to fight with them about going. That isn't to say that we haven't had our issues but for the most part, they all love it. Some of them like the social aspect the best but hey, that's something too. Right now I think that most of them are really ready for summer but come August, they will be excited to go once again.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Grown Up
Let's be real. When we were younger, we couldn't wait to grow up. We wanted to make our own rules and do whatever we want. We wanted to be able to eat whatever we wanted for dinner and nobody could tell us when to go to bed. We wanted to be independent and be able to buy whatever we wanted when we wanted it.
Here's the reality...we grew up. We kind of get to make our own rules. Yet, if you are blessed with having a job you get to follow those rules about when to be there and when to leave. We are able to eat whatever we want. I think the first 20 pounds I gained when I did that will forever be a part of me. We do get to go to bed whenever we want. Well, not really. Not if you have kids and jobs and responsibilities. Remember how we thought we could stay up as late as we wanted? Well, now we HAVE to stay up because we have kids to get to sleep, laundry to do, dishes to wash...you get the picture.
Oh and being independent and able to buy whatever you want? Reality looks a lot more like paying bills and being excited IF you have enough left over to hit up McDonald's for breakfast once this week. Okay, that might be a little bit of an exaggeration but you get the idea.
Tough decisions have to be made as grown-ups. They aren't always fun. In fact, they aren't often fun. I did learn something though. I have been "old enough" to make these decisions for a long time but have only recently become "grown-up" enough to make the right decisions more often than not. I've got to tell you, while being grown up is less stressful because I know the bills will be paid, we'll have groceries and money for doctor's visits is there, sometimes I wish I could still just do whatever I want.
Monday, May 5, 2014
My Sissy
Dear Sissy,
I miss you more every day. I keep waiting for you to text me or call me and tell me this has all been a mistake. I need so badly for this not to be real.
I miss your laughter. I miss your silly expressions. I miss your crazy too tight shirts. I miss your ridiculous fb comments. I miss your face.
I keep hoping that I will wake up from this nightmare and you'll be standing there in front of me. It never happens. The days just get longer.
People (not very smart people apparently) say that it gets easier with time. I think those people must buts because all I've found is that each day without you is harder. Every once in awhile I start to feel like things will be ok and then something happens and it hits all over again.
I know you're happy and I'm so happy for you to be in the Kingdom of Heaven and to be eternally at peace. I just wish being here without you didn't suck so much.
Love you always,
Your broken skissy
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Not What I Was Anticipating
I really thought that Spring would bring a massive amount of relief with it. I get so excited when the sun shines more and the days seem longer.
This year, it's not living up to my expectations yet. I don't know if that's because every time I think about putting away winter clothes, it turns out to be 40 degree weather the next day, or if it's because there is something more wrong with me and my ability to find the joy in things.
Don't get me wrong. I am prayerful and hopeful (most days on the hope, always on the prayer). I REALLY want to feel better. I love that the kids are excited for school to be out. I love that they can play outside later and that more days than not they are able to wear their shorts and t-shirts. I love the sunshine. I love the warmer weather. I am just not feeling it down in my bones yet.
I had a conversation with a friend the other day. He commented to me along the lines of sadness getting easier as time goes on after someone you love dies. I was pretty outraged. Mostly because I'd had a pretty long draining week before that and I had some trigger moments that rocked me. I said to him that it doesn't really get easier, it just gets sneakier. I mean that in the way that you start to feel better and you feel like things will be okay and then something sneaks up on you and BAM...it hits you and steals your breath and since you weren't expecting it, it takes that much longer to feel "okay" again. The higher you get, the harder it is to fall.
Every holiday is hard and because a part of me is expecting it to be a little bit easier, it actually is a little bit harder. Easter was not nice. While I'm in the midst of trying to enjoy my day, an overwhelming sadness is lurking inside me. I keep trying and trying to push it down and more and more it won't go away.
Mother's Day is next weekend. Mother's Day is hard around here. I mourn the fact that half of my kiddo's mother is not here. I try to make the day special so that they can honor her. We send a note to Heaven via balloon and the kids like that. This year we are making a memorial stone for Anitra. We have some of her ashes left and we will mix it with the cement and each kiddo will have a colored rock that is just for them. When it hardens we are going to place it in the ground. Pretty much Mother's Day is just an emotional land mine day that I collapse at the end of.
Graduation is coming. Much sooner than I am ready for. The closer it gets, the more disorganized I get. It's not working out the way I had envisioned. Thinking about graduation is sad and happy. Sad because she won't be here for it, and happy for R because it's her big day. So when I think of graduation, I get a little more depressed and a little more disorganized.
It's going to be a long month. I will continue to pray. I will continue to be hopeful. But I have to be honest...it's getting pretty hard...
This year, it's not living up to my expectations yet. I don't know if that's because every time I think about putting away winter clothes, it turns out to be 40 degree weather the next day, or if it's because there is something more wrong with me and my ability to find the joy in things.
Don't get me wrong. I am prayerful and hopeful (most days on the hope, always on the prayer). I REALLY want to feel better. I love that the kids are excited for school to be out. I love that they can play outside later and that more days than not they are able to wear their shorts and t-shirts. I love the sunshine. I love the warmer weather. I am just not feeling it down in my bones yet.
I had a conversation with a friend the other day. He commented to me along the lines of sadness getting easier as time goes on after someone you love dies. I was pretty outraged. Mostly because I'd had a pretty long draining week before that and I had some trigger moments that rocked me. I said to him that it doesn't really get easier, it just gets sneakier. I mean that in the way that you start to feel better and you feel like things will be okay and then something sneaks up on you and BAM...it hits you and steals your breath and since you weren't expecting it, it takes that much longer to feel "okay" again. The higher you get, the harder it is to fall.
Every holiday is hard and because a part of me is expecting it to be a little bit easier, it actually is a little bit harder. Easter was not nice. While I'm in the midst of trying to enjoy my day, an overwhelming sadness is lurking inside me. I keep trying and trying to push it down and more and more it won't go away.
Mother's Day is next weekend. Mother's Day is hard around here. I mourn the fact that half of my kiddo's mother is not here. I try to make the day special so that they can honor her. We send a note to Heaven via balloon and the kids like that. This year we are making a memorial stone for Anitra. We have some of her ashes left and we will mix it with the cement and each kiddo will have a colored rock that is just for them. When it hardens we are going to place it in the ground. Pretty much Mother's Day is just an emotional land mine day that I collapse at the end of.
Graduation is coming. Much sooner than I am ready for. The closer it gets, the more disorganized I get. It's not working out the way I had envisioned. Thinking about graduation is sad and happy. Sad because she won't be here for it, and happy for R because it's her big day. So when I think of graduation, I get a little more depressed and a little more disorganized.
It's going to be a long month. I will continue to pray. I will continue to be hopeful. But I have to be honest...it's getting pretty hard...
Heritage School
As a fourth grader at Pershing you get to go to Heritage School. This is an exciting rite of passage for each of the kiddos. Tai is mostly sad that she didn't get to go because we moved to Pershing the middle of her 4th grade year and they had already gone. Trey must have had so much fun at his that he has made Genna look forward to it for 3 years.
Heritage school is an all day field trip for them so that's always super exciting because they know they will not have homework. They get to ride the bus and go out to a little old school house like they had in the "olden" days. They are asked to dress up in the garb that was worn during the late 1800's. (Well I think that's the time frame but I'm not sure and Steve can't really tell me.) Genna borrowed a costume from our dear friend. She was so excited. It was handmade by Heather's grandma and her girls wore it when they went to Heritage school.
The other thing that they tell you to do is bring a lunch that would look like one from that time period. They provide you a pail to carry it in but they want authentic time lunches. Well...as much as possible. Suggestions were: beef jerky (although I know very few people who actually make their own jerky anymore), boiled eggs or potatoes,pancakes or biscuits (seriously, who makes hand-made biscuits now?), jelly, butter or lard (NO MAYO), raw veggies, apples, pears, berries, a homemade cookie. But of course, do not bring nuts due to allergies (I'm pretty sure that restriction is not authentic). No sandwich baggies. Items should be wrapped in wax or brown paper or cotton cloth.
I told Genna I didn't really have time to make homemade cookies but I'd be happy to buy her a sugar cookie from Casey's and take it out of the plastic wrap and wrap it in wax paper. Steve said that was cheating and I told him that he had better get to baking Betty Crocker because I do not have time for that. Tai ended up making homemade cookies for a friend so she was nice enough to save a couple out for Genna. We were nice enough to forget to actually pack the cookies. Okay, that was by complete accident but Genna was sure her bestie would give her a bite of her cookie.
I think half the excitement of Heritage School is in the preparation. At least I think it was for us. Genna reported having a great day and it was fun to play on the prairie and interesting to see. She will not be leaving us for simpler times because she's decided electricity and running water are pretty cool things to have in school.
One more kiddo for Heritage School in two years. She was pretty excited about it until she found out that in 3rd grade they get to hatch chicks so she figures she can wait her turn. 
Heritage school is an all day field trip for them so that's always super exciting because they know they will not have homework. They get to ride the bus and go out to a little old school house like they had in the "olden" days. They are asked to dress up in the garb that was worn during the late 1800's. (Well I think that's the time frame but I'm not sure and Steve can't really tell me.) Genna borrowed a costume from our dear friend. She was so excited. It was handmade by Heather's grandma and her girls wore it when they went to Heritage school.
The other thing that they tell you to do is bring a lunch that would look like one from that time period. They provide you a pail to carry it in but they want authentic time lunches. Well...as much as possible. Suggestions were: beef jerky (although I know very few people who actually make their own jerky anymore), boiled eggs or potatoes,pancakes or biscuits (seriously, who makes hand-made biscuits now?), jelly, butter or lard (NO MAYO), raw veggies, apples, pears, berries, a homemade cookie. But of course, do not bring nuts due to allergies (I'm pretty sure that restriction is not authentic). No sandwich baggies. Items should be wrapped in wax or brown paper or cotton cloth.
I told Genna I didn't really have time to make homemade cookies but I'd be happy to buy her a sugar cookie from Casey's and take it out of the plastic wrap and wrap it in wax paper. Steve said that was cheating and I told him that he had better get to baking Betty Crocker because I do not have time for that. Tai ended up making homemade cookies for a friend so she was nice enough to save a couple out for Genna. We were nice enough to forget to actually pack the cookies. Okay, that was by complete accident but Genna was sure her bestie would give her a bite of her cookie.
I think half the excitement of Heritage School is in the preparation. At least I think it was for us. Genna reported having a great day and it was fun to play on the prairie and interesting to see. She will not be leaving us for simpler times because she's decided electricity and running water are pretty cool things to have in school.
One more kiddo for Heritage School in two years. She was pretty excited about it until she found out that in 3rd grade they get to hatch chicks so she figures she can wait her turn.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
30 DOB Goal Review
Oh man...if I had known this one was coming, I would have made a shorter list, or I would have actually tried to accomplish the things I put on my list. Oh well...here goes....
1. "Realizing it's never too late to accomplish the things you want to accomplish." This one I actually am doing better. I may not have completely accomplished everything this month but these things are still on the list so I guess I still have time.
2. "Actually Nail This Challenge." I did it!! I did 28 days of blogging. Yes the challenge was 30 but I didn't start until day 2 so that's minus 1 day. In my own defense, I did blog twice in one day. I also didn't blog on Wordless Wed so that's minus 1 day. It WAS wordless Wed and I took it literally. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. :)
3. "Walk More this Month." Actually I did and maybe it's only because we got a dog but I did in fact walk more in April than I did in March.
4. "Be More Patient and Soft Spoken." Nope...that one I didn't accomplish. I will refer to number one on this one. I am nothing if not a work in progress so I'll keep working on that one.
5. "'Hide' Less Often." I didn't hide much this month. I didn't really have a chance to with Trey's injury and Easter but it still counts. I did take a couple of REALLY good naps and that helps me not need to hide so much. I even took one of those naps on the couch so I wasn't hiding at all then.
6. "Love More." Happy Anniversary to my sweet hubby. I do love him more today than yesterday and more yesterday than the day we were married. I am practicing love as an action and not just a feeling.
7. "My House is Going to Get Really Clean." Actually on Good Saturday, my hubby made us all get up earlier than I wanted and clean the house. It made a huge difference. We got new couches so we cleaned the whole floor. We used the new mop. Last night one of the kiddos broke the pepper grinder and pepper went everywhere so the dining room got nice and swept last night. Again, refer to #1 and remember that I'm a work in progress.
So actually, I didn't do so bad on my review. There are things that still need to be done but progress has been made. I can live with that. Mostly 6 out of 7. I count that as a win.
1. "Realizing it's never too late to accomplish the things you want to accomplish." This one I actually am doing better. I may not have completely accomplished everything this month but these things are still on the list so I guess I still have time.
2. "Actually Nail This Challenge." I did it!! I did 28 days of blogging. Yes the challenge was 30 but I didn't start until day 2 so that's minus 1 day. In my own defense, I did blog twice in one day. I also didn't blog on Wordless Wed so that's minus 1 day. It WAS wordless Wed and I took it literally. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. :)
3. "Walk More this Month." Actually I did and maybe it's only because we got a dog but I did in fact walk more in April than I did in March.
4. "Be More Patient and Soft Spoken." Nope...that one I didn't accomplish. I will refer to number one on this one. I am nothing if not a work in progress so I'll keep working on that one.
5. "'Hide' Less Often." I didn't hide much this month. I didn't really have a chance to with Trey's injury and Easter but it still counts. I did take a couple of REALLY good naps and that helps me not need to hide so much. I even took one of those naps on the couch so I wasn't hiding at all then.
6. "Love More." Happy Anniversary to my sweet hubby. I do love him more today than yesterday and more yesterday than the day we were married. I am practicing love as an action and not just a feeling.
7. "My House is Going to Get Really Clean." Actually on Good Saturday, my hubby made us all get up earlier than I wanted and clean the house. It made a huge difference. We got new couches so we cleaned the whole floor. We used the new mop. Last night one of the kiddos broke the pepper grinder and pepper went everywhere so the dining room got nice and swept last night. Again, refer to #1 and remember that I'm a work in progress.
So actually, I didn't do so bad on my review. There are things that still need to be done but progress has been made. I can live with that. Mostly 6 out of 7. I count that as a win.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Favorite 30 Days of Blogging Prompt
Oh easy...my favorite prompts are:
--Where Do I See Myself in 10 Years...This one was eye-opening to me and fun to reflect on how the more things change, the more they stay the same.
--21 Things About Me...This was fun because I couldn't think of stuff and so I asked my kids. They were so helpful and spot on. It was fun to hear them name things about me that they thought was fun.
--What Makes Me, Me...I don't typically think about that. It's just who I am so it was neat to try to describe myself in the things that I really want to be front and center about who I am.
Mostly my favorite thing about doing this 30 days of blogging was being able to get back in the habit of blogging. It was a way for me to work on my writing styles and see what types of things I enjoy blogging about the most.
I liked having topics of what to blog on. Some of them were comfortable for me and some of them made me step outside of my comfort zone. Some of the prompts made me really stop and think about how I feel about things and how I see things. I am typically so busy just living in the moment that it was nice to be able to think about the feelings and emotions that go into it all. You know, taking a step back and reflecting on life.
I tried to stay on prompt. Some days I did better than others. Some days, I couldn't do it because it was too hard, or there was too much other real life going on around me.
Thirty days of blogging has been a great exercise for me. I don't know that I'll continue blogging EVERY day but I can almost promise that my posts will be more than once every 6 months or so. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Thank you for checking in and thank you for your comments.
--Where Do I See Myself in 10 Years...This one was eye-opening to me and fun to reflect on how the more things change, the more they stay the same.
--21 Things About Me...This was fun because I couldn't think of stuff and so I asked my kids. They were so helpful and spot on. It was fun to hear them name things about me that they thought was fun.
--What Makes Me, Me...I don't typically think about that. It's just who I am so it was neat to try to describe myself in the things that I really want to be front and center about who I am.
Mostly my favorite thing about doing this 30 days of blogging was being able to get back in the habit of blogging. It was a way for me to work on my writing styles and see what types of things I enjoy blogging about the most.
I liked having topics of what to blog on. Some of them were comfortable for me and some of them made me step outside of my comfort zone. Some of the prompts made me really stop and think about how I feel about things and how I see things. I am typically so busy just living in the moment that it was nice to be able to think about the feelings and emotions that go into it all. You know, taking a step back and reflecting on life.
I tried to stay on prompt. Some days I did better than others. Some days, I couldn't do it because it was too hard, or there was too much other real life going on around me.
Thirty days of blogging has been a great exercise for me. I don't know that I'll continue blogging EVERY day but I can almost promise that my posts will be more than once every 6 months or so. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Thank you for checking in and thank you for your comments.
Monday, April 28, 2014
4 in 1
Today is a "freebie" day prompt. It means we get to write about whatever we want. I've kind of done that already because during Easter weekend I did pictures and things like that. Today I don't really have anything special to blog about. This week is going better than last so far. That's a plus. I thought I'd try to write about the things I couldn't write about during the Easter weekend.
Friday the 18th was "Your Biggest Insecurities." Mine are probably the same as a lot of others. My biggest insecurity would be "am I giving/doing/being enough." Enough of what my kids need, enough of what my husband needs, enough of what God needs, enough of what my friends need, enough of what work needs. The answer is probably no, not always and yes, sometimes more than enough. Life, and the people in it, are not perfect. We aren't meant to be perfect. It's about balance. It's about doing enough on some days just to survive and making up for it later. It's about it being okay to take a nap some days because other days you run ragged and don't get enough sleep.
I think I'll go with just that one insecurity. It seems like that's the big one today.
Saturday the 19th was "Your Favorite Quote." One I really like, that I've most often seen attributed to Marilyn Monroe is "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." I don't know if she really said that or if she's just the pretty face on the little fb posts. My favorite movie quote, if you can call it that, is "Yippie Ki Yay Motherf*cker." Bruce Willis says it right before he kills the bad guy in the first Die Hard. I love those movies by the way. That one makes me smile. I don't know why. I just strikes me as something fun to say.
My all-time, absolutely number one, favorite quote is, "If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you." A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh) I have said this to my children and to my friends and it has brought me great comfort.
Sunday the 20th was "Happy Easter: Your Easter Traditions." It started several years ago, I can't remember when exactly but on Good Friday we have always dyed Easter eggs with our children with my mom. We then added decorating cookies to that. So every Good Friday all the kiddos get with Grandma Nessa and dye eggs, frost Easter-type cookies and then have red hot dogs, hamburgers, and chips. Each year it seems to get bigger and better. Except that for two years, it has hurt my heart a LOT. Anitra was the biggest kid. One year she was helping a nephew and I'm not sure who had greener hands at the end. We'd form an assembly line to get the dye ready and we'd make silly jokes behind mom's back. She'd "tell on me" for using cuss words when I couldn't get the stupid little packets open. So for two-years it's been sad but I put on my smiley face because the kids really do have fun with it.
The following day the Seiker clan usually gets together, or the Carson clan gets together at Shavon's. We dye more eggs and do a hunt for the kids. This year we didn't do that. The Seiker's didn't get together because they will all be together soon for a cousin wedding. We didn't go to Shavon's because I needed a day at home with just the Fanklesman's and grandma Cindy. Sometimes, I need those times. With a large family, sometimes I have to pick and choose which events I can handle. Some years, like this one, I can't handle them all.
Sunday is about getting up early and seeing what the "Easter bunny" brought. We go to church and then we go to mom's again for a big feast, usually with the Rice family. This year there were 33 of us I think. Too many for me, but Genna and I found a corner and hung out. Then the kids go for a walk so the Easter bunny can get into costume. She greets the kids and the neighbor children and hands out candy. While the kids are gone, the guys hide all the eggs. Egg hunts are as fun for the adults as it is the kids.
Ok...it's a long post but since it's 3 days in one, which actually makes the 4th, I think I'm good. I'm all caught up. Thank you for hanging in there with me. :)
Friday the 18th was "Your Biggest Insecurities." Mine are probably the same as a lot of others. My biggest insecurity would be "am I giving/doing/being enough." Enough of what my kids need, enough of what my husband needs, enough of what God needs, enough of what my friends need, enough of what work needs. The answer is probably no, not always and yes, sometimes more than enough. Life, and the people in it, are not perfect. We aren't meant to be perfect. It's about balance. It's about doing enough on some days just to survive and making up for it later. It's about it being okay to take a nap some days because other days you run ragged and don't get enough sleep.
I think I'll go with just that one insecurity. It seems like that's the big one today.
Saturday the 19th was "Your Favorite Quote." One I really like, that I've most often seen attributed to Marilyn Monroe is "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." I don't know if she really said that or if she's just the pretty face on the little fb posts. My favorite movie quote, if you can call it that, is "Yippie Ki Yay Motherf*cker." Bruce Willis says it right before he kills the bad guy in the first Die Hard. I love those movies by the way. That one makes me smile. I don't know why. I just strikes me as something fun to say.
My all-time, absolutely number one, favorite quote is, "If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you." A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh) I have said this to my children and to my friends and it has brought me great comfort.
Sunday the 20th was "Happy Easter: Your Easter Traditions." It started several years ago, I can't remember when exactly but on Good Friday we have always dyed Easter eggs with our children with my mom. We then added decorating cookies to that. So every Good Friday all the kiddos get with Grandma Nessa and dye eggs, frost Easter-type cookies and then have red hot dogs, hamburgers, and chips. Each year it seems to get bigger and better. Except that for two years, it has hurt my heart a LOT. Anitra was the biggest kid. One year she was helping a nephew and I'm not sure who had greener hands at the end. We'd form an assembly line to get the dye ready and we'd make silly jokes behind mom's back. She'd "tell on me" for using cuss words when I couldn't get the stupid little packets open. So for two-years it's been sad but I put on my smiley face because the kids really do have fun with it.
The following day the Seiker clan usually gets together, or the Carson clan gets together at Shavon's. We dye more eggs and do a hunt for the kids. This year we didn't do that. The Seiker's didn't get together because they will all be together soon for a cousin wedding. We didn't go to Shavon's because I needed a day at home with just the Fanklesman's and grandma Cindy. Sometimes, I need those times. With a large family, sometimes I have to pick and choose which events I can handle. Some years, like this one, I can't handle them all.
Sunday is about getting up early and seeing what the "Easter bunny" brought. We go to church and then we go to mom's again for a big feast, usually with the Rice family. This year there were 33 of us I think. Too many for me, but Genna and I found a corner and hung out. Then the kids go for a walk so the Easter bunny can get into costume. She greets the kids and the neighbor children and hands out candy. While the kids are gone, the guys hide all the eggs. Egg hunts are as fun for the adults as it is the kids.
Ok...it's a long post but since it's 3 days in one, which actually makes the 4th, I think I'm good. I'm all caught up. Thank you for hanging in there with me. :)
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