Five weeks ago I started a new medication. Med changes are always scary but I know they are necessary and so I pray about it and give it my all. I pray that they will work and that they will not mess me up too much.
Five weeks ago, when I took the first few doses of the new med, they made me horribly sick to my stomach. One of the side effects of this particular med can be weight loss. I know why. It makes you so sick, you have no desire to ever eat again. Luckily for this chunky girl, you get past that and the meds were actually working.
I had adjusted to the 25 mg and was feeling ok. It's time to start the 50. I increase that and am actually feeling pretty good. There appears to be light at the end of the tunnel. Then I increase again. The first few days, I'm good. Slowly, I take a turn. I start to feel edgy, severe depression is seeping it's way back in, the mood swings are coming quicker, the mania is starting to feel very real.
It takes a couple days for me to realize what is going on but when I do, I jump on it. I can't afford to fall into a black hole again. I can't afford to step out of my sanity and live in my bedroom and be as anti-social as possible. I leave work and call the doctor and tell her what is going on. She thinks it's a reaction to the other medication that I take. We knew that was possible so we start weaning off of that medication. It's a bitch to do but necessary if this is the result of the two mixing poorly together.
Thursday night I start to itch. Like REALLY itch. ALL over my body. There appears to be slight rash on my chest, chin, one arm but I itch ALL OVER. Friday morning the redness has increased and spread. I get ready for work and go in but call my psychiatrist as soon as they open. I tell them what is going on and the nurse calls within a half hour and tells me to not take anymore of that med. If I haven't taken it for the day, I'm not supposed to.
An hour later the doctor called. The rash had spread to my face, my head, my legs. I was seen at Urgent Care, given a steriod shot (which comes with it's own story of me crying like a baby) and told to take Benadryl every 4 hours.
I was having an allergic reaction to the medication. Apparently about 1 in 1000 people get this rash and it can sometimes be really serious and you end up in the hospital with some life altering syndrome. Thankfully, it doesn't appear to be that serious for me. But I can't take the med anymore. I can't wean off of it like I should.
Currently, I'm in a tailspin. There was more drama over the new med they want to start me on as soon as I'm clear of the other med. More stress and tears and frustrations. I'm manic, depressed, tired, completely overwhelmed with the most simple life task. I of course can't shut down completely. I'm a busy mom with schedules to keep and meals to be fed, and laundry to be done. There are more tears and more fits and more "meltdowns" while all of this is going on. Tailspins suck. There is no other way around it. I will do the best I can to get through this as well and will pray that they next med will be more successful. Really at this point, that's all I can do.
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