Today

The 10th of September is the day that I actually associate with losing Anitra. That was the day she broke and went to the hospital. I knew that day that I would never have her back. I don't know how I knew, but I did. I called Steve and told him that I was really scared because I didn't think she was going to make it through this one. The doctors and nurses couldn't hear us tell them that she was not okay that day. She had to go to the hospital twice that day. Whenever someone asks me what day my sister died, I have to hesitate because in my heart it was the 10th even though in reality it was the 13th.

By day of the week, Wed, two years ago today I saw my sister for the last time. I picked her up from the hospital at noon and I wanted to believe that she was better and that she would be ok even though my heart knew differently. We picked up Steve from work and got lunch from Amigo's. We had to go through the drive thru because she didn't have any shoes on. At her house, I hugged her for the last time. I wish I would have known it was the last time I would hug her, get to see her, get to touch her. I would have held on longer. I would have said I love you louder. I would have driven a little bit slower so we would be together longer.