I can't keep up. I keep dropping little balls here and there and I feel like a big ball of failure. Notes from teachers, doctor's appointments, who needs to be where, calls I need to return, calls I need to make, texts I need to send, texts I need to respond to, emails I need to follow up on...The list goes on and on and I just keep hoping I'm juggling it all into the right hemisphere at least.
I just got the second call from a school this morning. The first call was because I forgot to call in my sick kid. I appreciate those calls because that lets me know that they are aware my child is gone. I will always know if she doesn't show up after her walk to school. I feel bad when they have to call me. Like I'm this irresponsible parent who just can't handle picking up the phone and calling her in.
The second call was because of a form I needed to have filled out by one of the kid's doctors for their IEP. I was supposed to do that last week. That meeting we had on Monday feels like a lifetime ago. How has it only been a week? How has it been a week already? Of course the child saw that doctor this morning and of course I forgot to send the form with them for the appointment so now I will have to figure out a way to get the form to the doctor and get it back in a timely manner. My forgetfulness has now created more work.
We had 3 kids with doctor's appointments this morning. All before noon. Thankful to my hubby for taking two of them and thankful for an adult child who gets to take herself.
I forgot to prep for the crock pot meal that was supposed to go in at 8:00 this morning. I don't what my family will be eating while I'm at class. Surely they won't starve right?
I have class today so I won't be home until 8:00 tonight. I also have to find time in my day to run to the hospital and get a binder that I forgot to get for one kid's schoolwork. I am anxious about a situation that I've been dealing with and it just keeps rearing its ugly head. I am feeling a little heartbroken for some friends of the past who's son died tragically; a little reminded that life is that precious and unprepared for things can happen so quickly. I'm re-entering cc receipts for work that I've now had to do 3 times because it didn't save properly.
I know it's a day, a couple pages in the book of this thing called my life. It's just a lot and I'm hoping that if I put it out there in the universe, I'll be able to let some of those feelings go and just focus on what I need to do now...stop playing old failure tapes.
