When you have bi-polar, you are used to emotions cycling. The greatest gift I have given myself over the years, is learning what has caused me to cycle. That allows me to recognize that it's the manic cycle and then I can have better control of it. Sometimes it takes a little bit for me to recognize it. Sometimes I need a gentle reminder from a loved one that I'm shifting.
The problem with all this world changing every second of every minute, and social distancing, is that I am experiencing so many cycles in a much shorter time span and not able to figure out why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling and not able to anticipate the cycle. The cycles have become shorter and more often. I'm trying to manage that to the best of my ability. Sometimes I win and sometimes ($400 grocery bill later) I lose.
It's taking a toll on me.
Sunday, April 12, 2020
April 3, 2020
The announcement was finally made that the remainder of the school year will occur at home through remote learning. My heart is sad for these kiddos. They miss their friends and activities. There will be no final choir concert for R; no end of year play for G; no 8th grade "grad" party, and the list goes on. The kids are actually taking it pretty well. I know they're bummed.
It has been fun to hear R laugh with her friends on phone calls. It's been amazing to see G use absolutely all of the resources to make this experience work for them. They have become such an advocate for their own mental health that it's promising for their future. That doesn't mean there aren't challenges, it just means that they are seem to be navigating them to the best of their abilities.
This week the world lost Joe Diffie (country music singer) and the co-writer to Stacey's Mom to the virus. Those are the famous people that I've heard about. Takshi69 was released from prison early. Countless non-violent offenders are being released from jail early all over the world.
Life is constantly changing and it feels like just when we get the swing of a new routine there's another shift. They have not put Lincoln on "stay at home" orders but I think eventually they might.
It has been fun to hear R laugh with her friends on phone calls. It's been amazing to see G use absolutely all of the resources to make this experience work for them. They have become such an advocate for their own mental health that it's promising for their future. That doesn't mean there aren't challenges, it just means that they are seem to be navigating them to the best of their abilities.
This week the world lost Joe Diffie (country music singer) and the co-writer to Stacey's Mom to the virus. Those are the famous people that I've heard about. Takshi69 was released from prison early. Countless non-violent offenders are being released from jail early all over the world.
Life is constantly changing and it feels like just when we get the swing of a new routine there's another shift. They have not put Lincoln on "stay at home" orders but I think eventually they might.
Week 4/5 Begins
Tomorrow begins week 4 working at home. Week 5 of the kids being home from school because Spring Break was the week before they canceled school.
We bought a bearded dragon. We are saying "blame it on the covid" a lot around here. While it's true that I always wanted one of the boys to want a reptile when they were growing up, I never thought we'd actually ever have one. Especially not at this point in life. She's fantastic and her name is Quari (sometimes we just call her Q). She for sure is an impulse buy even though we spent a couple days planning for her. I had a panic attack the first night we had her because I could NOT believe I spent that much on a reptile and I could not believe that this was now going to become something in my life but since then I've been mostly excited about her.
Friday was Good Friday and since we couldn't do our usual annual Easter Egg Dying at my mom's, we surprised her with a Zoom gathering. My kids did eggs and we grilled hamburgers and red hot dogs. My sister-in-law and her kids, my sister, and Rythm and Rileigh all joined us. Mom was super excited and surprised and the Easter Bunny even made an appearance.
Today was Easter and I decided that I was still going to wear my Easter dress. I had to wear leggings under it because...NEBRASKA...but it was nice to get dressed, do my hair, and put on make-up. We made ham (and had a chicken) with mashed potatoes, gravy and the sides. We did a basket hiding for the kids that were here and played games. Then Gee and I had a zoom family chat with the Seiker's. We made Grandma Seiker's chocolate chip cookies with various members of the family. It was a nice day even though Steven got sick with a migraine and spent most of the day in bed.
Gee is struggling with depression. I feel so bad for them. We spent so long praying that they would feel better about going to school and relationships and now that they are, they can't go to school and they are missing their relationships and wondering what the point is. It's important that we validate what they are feeling and are trying to do that. Offering hope without gaslighting what they are feeling.
On a side note, my kids are growing up! Tai made and brought homemade croissants for lunch and Trey picked up the chicken and desserts. When did they get old enough to bring something to holiday meals?
We bought a bearded dragon. We are saying "blame it on the covid" a lot around here. While it's true that I always wanted one of the boys to want a reptile when they were growing up, I never thought we'd actually ever have one. Especially not at this point in life. She's fantastic and her name is Quari (sometimes we just call her Q). She for sure is an impulse buy even though we spent a couple days planning for her. I had a panic attack the first night we had her because I could NOT believe I spent that much on a reptile and I could not believe that this was now going to become something in my life but since then I've been mostly excited about her.
Friday was Good Friday and since we couldn't do our usual annual Easter Egg Dying at my mom's, we surprised her with a Zoom gathering. My kids did eggs and we grilled hamburgers and red hot dogs. My sister-in-law and her kids, my sister, and Rythm and Rileigh all joined us. Mom was super excited and surprised and the Easter Bunny even made an appearance.
Today was Easter and I decided that I was still going to wear my Easter dress. I had to wear leggings under it because...NEBRASKA...but it was nice to get dressed, do my hair, and put on make-up. We made ham (and had a chicken) with mashed potatoes, gravy and the sides. We did a basket hiding for the kids that were here and played games. Then Gee and I had a zoom family chat with the Seiker's. We made Grandma Seiker's chocolate chip cookies with various members of the family. It was a nice day even though Steven got sick with a migraine and spent most of the day in bed.
Gee is struggling with depression. I feel so bad for them. We spent so long praying that they would feel better about going to school and relationships and now that they are, they can't go to school and they are missing their relationships and wondering what the point is. It's important that we validate what they are feeling and are trying to do that. Offering hope without gaslighting what they are feeling.
On a side note, my kids are growing up! Tai made and brought homemade croissants for lunch and Trey picked up the chicken and desserts. When did they get old enough to bring something to holiday meals?
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