Menu Planning

Here's the deal...we are a typical busy family. We are a family that lives on a pretty tight budget. Much less tight than it used to be, but still pretty tight. If we didn't menu plan, we would never know what we were eating and we would eat out more and have less money for the other things that we need. 

We grocery shop every two weeks. Now, we usually end up having to get milk at least once during those two weeks but for the most part, we only grocery shop every two weeks. We typically eat out once every two weeks. Sometimes, when life has us way too busy, we will have to stop and grab something but typically speaking, it's once every two weeks.

The ads come in our mail on Wed. Steve goes through the ads and circles the meat, and other bigger ticket items, that are on sale. I build the menu from that, and our schedules. 

Mondays - usually not a busy night for us so I like to try new recipes, or just family favorites that take a little longer to make. Usually a chicken dish because a) there is almost always some type of chicken on sale and b) chicken takes a little longer to make so unless I do it in the crock pot, there isn't a lot of time for chicken other times. 

Tuesdays - "Taco Tuesday"...this means that we will have some kind of Mexican dish. Apparently 'taco' is a pretty general term in our house and I have interpreted this to be some type of Mexican meal. We do try to have regular tacos at least once a  month because that's something that EVERYONE in our house enjoys (and that's pretty tough to come by). Also, I've learned that most of the Mexican-style dishes that I make don't take a lot of time and Rey has dance so I start dinner, run her to dance, finish dinner, pick her up, eat. Right now we also have Mourning Hope group so some of us will eat before dance pick up so that we can get to that.  

Wednesdays - The girls have Youth Group and Steve has Scouts so this day is when we will have something quick like soup and sandwiches or chef salads, 'Subway' night (which means we make our own subs) and individual bags of chips. Crock pot meals happen most often on this night because then people can eat as they are here

Thursdays - We typically have something more 'classic' on Thursdays. I don't know why that is but I just realized it is. We do spaghetti (although now we have different versions - spaghetti squash, shrimp hot naked, etc...), tater tot casserole, sloppy joes, stir fry, new casseroles I'm constantly finding on Pinterest...things like that. It all pretty much revolves around what proteins were on sale that week. 

Fridays - Steve does not work his regular job on Fridays so that means he's usually in charge of the dinner that day. (I say his regular job because trust me, between appts., JA, teaching CLC clubs...he's still really working.) This means we often times have fish or grill. 

Saturdays - depends on what we have planned. Most of the time we grill on Saturdays. Brats, chicken, hamburgers...whatever proteins we have stocked up on. Or we do soup in the crock pot - chili, chicken and noodles...you get it. 

Sundays - I will SOMETIMES, very rarely, make a menu for Sunday brunch. The tradition is that I am willing to make you eggs, maybe bacon, and toast after church but dinner is pretty exclusively "free choice". That means leftovers. I found out that my kids will eat it more happily if I call it free choice than when I call it leftovers. That's when we clean out the fridge or eat Ramen. Honestly, by Sunday afternoon, I'm pooped. Actually much sooner than that but Steve works on Sundays so I use that as an excuse to not cook. 

So that's it. There's no secret. The menu directly revolves around kid activities and grocery ads. We have an app called Cozi that we use to keep track of everyone's schedules. If you have a phone in our house, you have Cozi and you are expected to put your activities on it. We also include the menu. That way Steve is never asking me what we're having for dinner and I always know what needs to be taken out, or prepped, the night before. Steve will grocery shop for the sale items (meats and veggies) on Friday and I will online grocery shop for the rest of the items and pick them up on Saturdays. About once a month we go to Sam's Club for toilet paper, paper plates, napkins, paper plates...stuff like that. 

It's a little time consuming but I have noticed that when I don't menu plan, it's insane. I am a schedule person. I am a planner. If it's not planned, then I'm worrying about it getting done. Also, preparing dinner and sitting with as many family members as we can each night, truly fills my bucket. 

What's in Your Fridge (13 of 30)

Funny for the day! I will admit to being intrigued by what people have in their fridges. I don't know what it says about people and I am certainly not judging...I just find it entertaining. Oh man...I hope nobody ever judges me by the contents of my fridge! Haha!

We menu plan and grocery shop every two weeks and since we're almost to the end of that two weeks, we're pretty low on a lot of stuff. We have your basic leftovers from whatever we have eaten this week. About 1/4 cup of whatever was too much in the pan to throw away!

Oh, I do have homemade tamales. We bought them for a fundraiser someone is having for some friends. Homemade tamales are the absolute best and I keep forgetting we have these so that's probably going to be lunch for tomorrow. Yum! I just got excited!

We have a large jar with 1 homemade pickle in it. It takes a lot from me to not eat it but Tai's grandma passed away in May and she made homemade pickles and it's the last pickle that Tai has so I'm saving it for her for Christmas. For the record, there was only one in there when she left for Nantucket so I deserve some serious credit for it still being there.  She was nice enough to share some of the others with us when the jar was full. Grandma Mary made some of the best pickles ever. I'm kind of hoping Tai wants to share a bite of the last one.

We have a lot of condiments. Is that a thing? Does everyone have a door compartment full of condiments? We still have a couple of eggs and we ALWAYS have cheese. We love cheese! Cheddar, colby-jack, American, parmesan, cream cheese...the list goes on. If we are ever completely out of cheese, somebody should probably get us to a food pantry because it means we're too poor to go to the store!

Since it's the end of the 2 weeks, I was just told we are out of milk. An item we go through entirely too fast in this house. With 4 mostly teenagers, and Steve, it's not unusual to be out of milk. We should buy a cow.

Well, now that I've done this post, it has made me realize that in two days I will be making a grocery list so it's probably a good time for me to go start menu planning! I'll share my menu planning process sometime. It's intense but something I usually enjoy a lot and seriously saves this momma a LOT of work!

Happy Hump Day!

Your Favorite Childhood Book (12 of 30)

Today, I am tempted to write about the fact that someone came into our home and stole our possessions. I am tempted to write about how they didn't just steal from me, they stole from my children because they took their xbox one and their PS3, things that we have worked hard for them to have. I'm not going to write about that though...because I've been looking forward to this post and I'm not letting that person have this too...maybe another night.

I LOVED to read as a kid. I would get in trouble because I would read so much that I wouldn't do my homework or chores. I learned how to read quickly and I could get through a book in no time flat. I was also grounded a LOT so I had a LOT of time to read.

My all-time favorite book that I still own today is 'Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry'. It's written by Mildred D. Taylor and it's about a poor, African American Family in the deep south in the 1930's. The Logan children take us on a journey of how racist and unjust America, especially the deep South, was like during that time. I loved the history of it. I can hear their accents as I read about Strawberry, MS and hear the tails through the view point of Cassie Logan. I actually read this again two summers ago. I was incredibly excited to find it at a garage sale. There is a sequel this book called 'Let the Circle Be Unbroken'. Also a very good book and I actually love sequels to books, much more so than sequels to movies (unless it's a Die Hard or Fast & Furious movie)!

Another great book that we read in 8th grade with Mrs. Miller was 'Gentlehands' by M.E. Kerr. This book is a teenage boy, Buddy, who discovers that his grandfather was a Nazi war criminal during WWII.  'Gentlehands' reminds us that people are not always what they appear and it teaches us that sometimes we have to wrestle with the demons of life not always being completely black and white; that sometimes what we think is good can also be filled with bad. I think that the quote "winners never cheat and cheaters never win" comes from that book but I am not able to pinpoint it exactly. I know that's where I THINK it came from and that I repeat that to my children often.

There are so many other books that I could write about but these two stood out the most as great "childhood" books. As far as kids books, I adore 'Is Your Mama a Llama', 'Where the Wild Things Are', pretty much anything by Dr. Seuss, and 'I'll Love  You Forever'.

10 Favorite Foods (Day 11 of 30)

Food! Not going to lie...I got a little excited about the topic. We love food. I get a ton of self-value in the meals that I prepare for my family. I love to cook...maybe even a little more than I love to eat.

1) Chicken Piccata - Tai makes the best chicken piccata I have ever had. It's thin, pan seared chicken with capers and lemon and cream. It's amazing.

2) Chili Relleno - I love these but can't handle the heat so they're sometimes scary to order when dining out. La Paz has great ones!

3) Tacos - Just a basic, hard or soft, meat, cheese, lettuce taco. I really like chicken soft tacos from Amigos. We have Taco Tuesdays at our house but we've expanded "tacos" to mean any new kind of Mexican dish I want to try out on the kids.

4) Popcorn - I'm kind of a popcorn snob. I don't like microwave popcorn and really love my own homemade popcorn the most. Most of the  kids say it's better than movie popcorn. I have the popcorn popper that has the handle that you turn while it's cooking. That's the best.

5) Tater Tot Casserole - You can usually tell if my depression is bad by whether or not we have this on the menu. It's absolutely a comfort food for me and when I feel sad that's one of the dishes I crave.

6) Mashed potatoes with cream of mushroom hamburger gravy - there have been times in our marriage when we were just plain broke. Not sure how we were going to eat, broke. We could take a little bit of hamburger, add a can of cream of mushroom and a little milk. Make up some mashed potatoes (even the boxed kind) and 'yay! dinner!' We haven't had this in a really long time but it is a dish I think of fondly when thinking about favorite foods.

7) Sushi - This is a new favorite within the last several years. I never thought that I would like sushi but oh wow, I do. I should clarify...I don't like raw fish so I'm not eating those really beautiful pieces of sashimi that my husband likes. I love the ones that are lightly battered and fried and I LOVE a good Cali-roll.

8) My dad's goulash - or chili -- those two things make me feel better. I have tried for 22 years to replicate those two things and I never get it quite right. Mine are good, but dad's are way better. They make me feel young again, in a good way!

9) My mom's beef and noodles - she makes homemade noodles and there is just something about them that warm my heart and soul and tummy. I know HOW to make the noodles, I just usually don't make them. They are a great Christmas tradition.

10) My little sister's chocolate chip cookies without chocolate chips - I know...it sounds weird but it really is just chocolate chip cookies without any chocolate chips. I love them! My little sister made them for me and I appreciated the gesture so much that I will forever treasure them.

So there are my favorites. There are probably a ton more but the topic was 10 so I'll stop there. A little secret, one of my absolutely least favorite foods...meatloaf. Blech!

Best Trip of Your Life (Day 10 of 30)

We have had a couple of really great trips. I would say hands down when we road trip as a family, my heart is the fullest. There were great things about so many of them...I'll hit a few highlights, again in no particular order...

Summer 2013...We went to KS, CO, SD, and WY. We started in Kearney to pick up Grandma Cindy and headed to Kansas to visit the graves of Steve's grandparents. We then headed to Colorado Springs. We spread my sister's ashes at Pikes Peak and went onto WY and SD. We saw Mt. Rushmore, Wind Cave, Needles Highway...2 cars, 6 kids, 3 adults. We camped a few nights and stayed in a couple of hotels.

Breckenridge 2012...The Carson Family Vacation. Grandma and Grandpa Carson rented a house and there were 17 of us total (unless I forgot someone). We went horseback riding, white water rafting, saw Mt. Evans, pontoon boat, and a water park...lots of good food, great scenery, good memories. Rythm turned 16 on that trip.

Spring break 2015...New York City! We saw Niagra Falls, the birth place of Michael Jackson, the Statue of Liberty, Hershey PA, the 9-11 Museum and Memorial. We took a night bus tour of NYC and a terrifying traffic jam in Brooklyn. We crossed so many states we lost count but had a great time and made more wonderful memories. We stayed at a super nasty hotel and we stayed at a nice one in NJ. We also ate at a fun little resteraunt in NJ that was probably a front for the mafia.

Las Vegas...Steve and I left the kids with grandma Cindy and grandma Nessa and spent 4 fantastic days in Vegas. We saw Hoover Dam, a Cirque du Soleil, Fremont St. We took a couple of sketchy late night bus rides from Fremont Street to the strip, saw a show, ate some amazing food, and all the lights!

Mexico...This was the most recent. Steve and I finally got a stamp in our passport and spent some time in Cancun. It was beautiful and a much needed trip for both of us to connect. A pool right outside our room, a day to Chichen itza. The highway and drving were scary, the food was fabulous.

I am truly blessed. We have had countless trips to Florida to pick up and drop-off Tai. We've been to waterparks and theme parks in Arkansas and Branson. We had a great cabin trip to Worlds of Fun with the kids. WOW! I need to pull this list out and read it more often when it seems like all we do is work and run kids around...we've had some great adventures.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I love Thanksgiving! It's such a wonderful holiday that doesn't revolve around money and gifts. I love the food and I love the day spent with most of my children.

I am also reminded to be thankful of all the things, people, blessings in my life. Here's just a few, in no particular order.

I'm incredibly thankful for God and for our Church. We have met the most amazing people and have a tribe who helps us raise our children and lead them in God's way. Our Church has literally been life saving and we are incredibly thankful to have them in our lives. God's promises leave me thankful daily. 

Which leads me to how thankful I am for our neighbors, who have become our friends. They led us to our Church and they are absolutely part of "village to raise a child." They are great carpool buddies for youth group and lend a hand by getting the girls to Sunday morning youth group. We get to spend holidays together and our children have become good friends.

I am thankful for all of my family. We don't see most of them enough but when we do, it's always nice to be together. My extended family has made me who I am, my children teach who I want to become better each day, my in-laws have welcomed me with open arms since day one (they have also loved all our children unconditionally no matter that only 2 of them are biologically theirs).

A thankful post would not be complete with a special shout out to the man who has loved since high school, even when he doesn't particularly like me...ha! My hubby gives me more to be thankful for than I deserve. He's taught me patience by being patient with me, he's taught to relax more (I'm a work in progress) by being relaxed, he's taught me to love when it's hard to and forgive when there's no apology. I would not be half the person I am today without him.

I am thankful for our jobs that allow us to provide for our families. I'm not sure that I'm in my 'dream job' right now but I'm thankful for all that it is teaching me and all that it has to offer.

I am thankful for a team...of doctor's, of teachers, of partners that help us to guide our children through the tough waters of grief, mourning, mental health, school situations, etc...Our family wouldn't even know where to start without all of you.

I have amazing friends. Close friends, work friends, old friends, new friends...the list goes on. I am so thankful to have great friends. 

I truly have a lot to be thankful for and I certainly can't list them all but those are some of my top ones. I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and can still wear their jeans tomorrow!

What's In Your Purse (Day 9 of 30)

An incredible amount of crap! Ha! Really, I have glasses cases, meds, maybe a couple of pens that I can never find when I need. I carry around way too much. But here's a couple of things...

I carry my sister's phone. No matter what purse I'm using at the moment, there must be a pocket in it for the little blue phone. I am strongly held firm by 'anchors' and that is one of them. It seems silly to some probably, to carry around a perfectly good phone that is disconnected and has no battery. It used to have a battery but the phone kept going off for no apparent reason and would make noises at the worst possible times.

Anitra's phone was one her most prized posessions and so I feel like by having it with me all the time, I am carrying her around with me all the time. Poor girl! When I miss her terribly, I reach in and touch her phone. When I am rummaging around for some lost article, I brush up against her phone and it reminds me that nothing is lost forever.

One of the other things I have in my purse is lip wear. I have about 10 of them in my purse at any given moment. I have lip gloss, lip stain, lipsense, lipstick, lip balm. I have a lip stuff problem. I think I probably faithfully wear 2 of them. Well, as much as I faithfully wear anything on my lips. I have great intentions of putting lip color on, I just usually forget.

They're all contained in one pocket of my purse. Sometimes they get traded out for others that I have in my house. If I took all the lip stuff out of my bag it'd probaly weigh a lot less. I don't know what I would do with all the space! Collect more receipts that I don't need but feel bad about not taking from the cashier?

Oh, and here's the deal, I'm generous with my lip products. I will share. If you need something for your lips, I am happy to hand one over to you, but please don't give it back. That's so gross. And trust me, I have plenty to replace it with!

Five Current Goals (Day 8 of 30)

Man...I don't feel incredibly goal oriented right now. I'm just trying to stay afloat and not lose my mind so I wonder if that should be my one and only goal...I'll try...

1) The high school youth pastor gave the sermon at church a couple of weeks ago. It was an amazing sermon about growth, in may aspects of our lives, but he said, "the number one way to grow in Christ is to read the Bible." After the sermon, I shook his hand and told him how much his sermon spoke to me. He said, "do something with it." I thought about that, and I DID something about it. I found an accountability partner and I set a goal of reading the Bible, no matter how short of a verse, at least 4 times out of 7 in a week. Week two and I'm reaching that goal. So my goal is to continue to grow in Christ and continue to read the Bible.

2) This goal is silly but needs to be out in the universe anyway. I need to organize all of my fabulous pieces of Paparrazi jewelry. They are laying on my desk, on my printer, some are in one of my actual jewelry boxes, some of still in the package I received today. I have a hanger type thing for ties that I'm going to hang my longer pieces on. I just need to do it. On a side note, have you tried/heard of/seen Paparazzi Jewelry?? Every piece is just $5! The pieces are amazing. They go from super fancy to super simple and everything in between. Fabulous pieces and if I leave them at work, or my van, I don't freak out because they were literally $5.00!

3) In the same lines as above, I have a goal of getting all of my clothes organized. They too are everywhere in my room. I feel like a teenager again, and not in a good way. Could someone just come hang out with me for 2 hours and not let me out of my room until it's done? I haven't gotten my summer clothes put away and it's almost winter!

4) Next spot that needs some major organization is my make-up closet. Yes, I have a whole cabinet for all of my make-up, brushes, nail polish, masks, etc. I just need to organize it. I'm blessed with the space, and at one time I had it all nice and neat. I don't know what happened! I love having it organized and easy to find, I just can't seem to find the time to do it! So my goal for this winter is to organize the heck out of that closet so I have room for more make-up. I might have a problem. I love the stuff!

5) I'm going to be an aunt again!! I'm so excited! Come May I'll have a brand new little niece or nephew. So this goal would be to get a baby blanket made for this baby! I still have a half-finished blanket for a cousin's baby. It does help that it's winter so if life will slow down for JUST a little bit, I might be able to sit long enough to work on a blanket for this new little miracle.

As I'm writing these goals, I'm thinking of several more that I should probably put on here. I guess I'll be making another list...a To-Do list...of all the goals and how I'm going to get them going.

Happy Birthday Eve (Day 7 of 30)

So day 6 of 30 is "Your 5 Favorite Songs." I love music. There is no way I could possibly try to limit my favorites to 5. I like country, classic Christian, contemp. Christian, a little 'white girl' rap, a little hip-hop, jazz...I just love music. And I wanted to write about something else tonight so...

ON this eve, as I pull the birthday brownies out of the oven, I think back to 17 years ago. I smile with warm memories. I laugh because I remember that we had not named you yet. Your mom, who needs to have EVERY detail planned out as soon as possible did not even have a name for you yet.

I blame your dad. Makes sense, right? He dislikes plans and structure as much as I crave them. He is always the last one to order at a resteraunt because he can't make up his mind about ANYTHING. So yes, I blame your father. You were his son. I wanted him to really have a say in your name.

I also knew that I could not name you the one name that he really wanted to name you. Your dad really wanted to name you Scott. I know it would have meant a lot to him for that to be your name. I was worried that if we named you Scott, it would be hard on your grandma. I worried that if I named you Scott, you might not live. I know that sounds silly but that's how this anxiety stuff works. After we had named you, your great grandma Bonnie said, "I didn't want to tell you this before but it would have been awfully hard for some of us if his first name was Scott."

So your dad and I laid in bed at 3:00 in the morning going back and forth over names. I was aiming for Max. I think there were a few other names but mostly we kept settling on some version of Trey. I started to cry and told your dad that he must not really love me if he couldn't even pick a name for you. Yeah, hormones are great when you're pregnant.

I finally said, "it's not that hard! It's pork or chicken Steve! Pick a name!"

He didn't. I fell asleep for about 2 hours. I'm not sure your dad slept that night.

We got to the hospital. It was so cold. After a whole bunch of boring stuff, they told your dad to go get dressed and they were ready to wheel me back to the operating room. I said, "WAIT! When you come into that room, I need to know if he's going to be TreySON or TreyTON!"

Treyson Scott Fankhauser, you are an absolute light in my sometimes very dark world. You make me smile with your dry humor and silly wit. I can't imagine what I ever did so right as to be blessed enough to be your mom. I am so thankful. Happy Birthday!

What Are You Afraid of? (Day 6 of 30)

I'm just going to throw out a few...these are not necessarily in order of biggest to smallest...just things I think about, or try not to think about.

1) Something happening to one of my kids...

2) Not being enough...for my kids, for my spouse, for my friends, for my life...

3) Something happening to Steve...

4) Snakes...all snakes...it's called the 's' word in our house...

5) A quiet house...

6) Too much noise...

7) Getting Alzhemeirs and forgetting my sister...

8) Other drivers...seriously, the interstate is too much...

9) Losing my teeth and not being able to afford good replacements...

10) That my kids won't remember all the fun times...

Your Proudest Moment (Day 5 of 30)

My proudest moment would be...

When Genevieve was baptized...

When Tai was accepted into, and committed to, the CIA...

When Trey was allowed to take the ACT as a 7th grader...

When Rythm safely gave birth to Rileigh...

When Ariez completed a full season detasseling...

When Reyanne danced across the stage so beautifully...

When Steve graduated from UNK..

When this family so bravely grieved the loss of someone so incredibly special to us...

When Tai and Rythm graduated from high school...

When Genevieve so bravely advocates for herself...

When Treyson performs in plays...

When Ariez is able to identify his emotions and needs...

When Steve became a supervisor for Nelnet...

When Reyanne chose to join youth group and truly begin HER journey with the Lord...

So many moments...

"What is Your Dream Job" (Day 4 of 30)

Day 4 was supposed to be yesterday but it was a busy, long day (which I'll get to in a second). Day 4's prompt is "What is your dream job?" and I can't go there right now so I'm filling day 4 with the news of yesterday.

My phone starting buzzing at 4:19 pm. I'm not off until 4:30 so I wasn't going to answer it but with all the craziness in our lives I decided I better.

Silence, well more accurately, heavy breathing is what met me on the phone.

"Trey? Trey? What's wrong?"

More heavy breathing. "Mom...I'm okay...but..."

And I knew. I knew what he was going to tell me. A parent knows, especially a parent that has been through it twice before.

So, the car is totalled, the boy is not. Praise the Lord!

I left work at 4:20 and made it to him at about 4:45. We got to the hospital about 5:45 and we were in the Taco Bell drive-thru by 7:15. Not bad.

There was a National Guardsman who had stopped to help with the accident. He was in uniform so all the cars stopped for him when he came to walk me across the busy street so I could FINALLY get to se my boy and make sure he was really okay. He said that Trey was afraid I wasn't paying enough attention to the cars and that I was going to get run over so he came over to walk me across. Trey said that gentleman was super helpful the whole time. I never got his name. He left shortly after I arrived. He wanted to make sure that my kid was okay. Our family is incredibly thankful for him.

Trey feels bad for the woman that he hit. She was almost positive that the police were going to arrest her for a) causing the accident and b) not having her driver's license with her at the time of the accident. They didn't arrest her but she did walk away with a ticket which she won't be able to take Stop Class for because it was an inury accident. Trey said he heard her on the phone and she said "he's going to kill me!" and he was worried that his giantness was frightening to her. I told him that she was probably talking about her husband because that's how wives talk when they've done something like that.

Trey has a bummed up hand. They took x-rays and said there is not an obvious break but that the tendons in his hand are so swollen that it's hard to see for sure right now. He'll wear the hard splint for 2 weeks and we'll go back for more pictures. He won't be able to work so he will have lots of time to work on homework and portfolios during Thanksgiving Break.

And...the accident wasn't his fault so if there had to be an accident, there's that to be thankful for as well.

So maybe I can go "there" about the "dream job." I'm actually living it. I am a mom and I get to be by my kid's sides when they need me to be. I get to be there when don't want me there too but that's for another day. I get to make them dinner and drive them to dance and advocate for them at school meetings and make sure they take all their medicine. That's my real job. It doesn't pay the bills, I'm thankful for the one that does also but I'm incredibly thankful for having the dream job of being a mom to some really amazing kids.

"Your Favorite Quote" - Day 3 of 30 Blog Challenge

I don't really have a favorite quote. I like a couple. I could have just changed tonight's topic because nobody else can see the list but that seems like a lot of work right now and I'm drained. It's been a long day and I'm so exhausted.

Here a few...

"True love is friendship set on fire." - I like this because there's so much truth to it. Steve is my best friend. Don't get me wrong, he's also the person who can drive me the craziest, but he's also the person who's been there through it all. We are friends first and lover's second.

"Grief is the price we pay for love"- Oh so true...grief is worth the price of love. Grief is hard, really, really hard. Totally worth every minute of it.

"Live to love and love living" - That's from my husband. It's a good one.

"I have become death, the destroyer of worlds" - this was apparently from J. Robert Oppenheimer in reference to creating the atom bomb. My son gave me this one. I'm going to think about that some more.

"There is no 'we' in 'food'" - This literally made me just laugh out loud. I was looking for quotes about food and there was one about "My favorite part of food is family..." which is really good and I will say that one of my favorite things in my house is that we eat at the table for dinner. I saw this one instead and thought it was super funny. So...there you go...

"Having somewhere to go is home, having someone to love is family, having both is a blessing." - I am insanely blessed.

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." - so much...

Okay...that's what I have today. Borrowed quotes from others and googled quotes about things that are important to me.

"20 Facts about You" - Day 2 of 30 Blog Challenge

20 Facts About You

I know...super deep, exciting stuff here...Let's see what I can come up with!

1. My middle toe is longer than my other toes. It's genetic and Steve calls them monkey toes. They look much like a hand.

2. My son, Ariez, just told me I'm a good listener. I asked him for a fact about me and that's the first thing he said. I try to be.

3. When my kids compliment me, I get all the feels. Mostly because I don't think they even notice me unless it's dinner time or need a ride somewhere so I probably put way too much value in their compliments, but they absolutely fill my bucket.

4. Homemade birthday cards are my favorite gift. My husband usually has the kids write me a note or make a card on my birthday and they are incredibly sweet and my favorite thing about my birthday.

5. My grandmother is 20 years older than my dad, my dad is 20 years older than me, I am 20 years older than my first born. She turns 20 tomorrow and I'm excited to announce that the circle has been broken. :)

6. I have had 11 surgeries...3 c-sections, 2 sections for partial hysterectomies, 1 ankle reconstruction, 1 dnc following a miscarriage, 4 laparoscopies due to endometriosis.

7. My favorite chocolate is white chocolate. My least favorite is dark chocolate.

8. My favorite Chrsistmas time treats are haystacks.

9. People think I hate the snow. I actually LOVE the snow. It's beautiful, it makes everything shiny. I have fibromyalgia and the snow, actually the cold, makes me hurt really badly. So I love the snow but only really when I can stay inside and not get near it.

10. Genevieve just said a fact about me is that I have a big heart. Anyone who knows what we have been going through lately with this girl, has to know that her statement brought a couple tears. I am trying baby girl and I know you are too.

11. Treyson said that "as of tomorrow you have been a mom for 20 years." Yes, we covered that but I'm still counting it as fact number 11.

12. I have been sexually assualted. I was 18.

13. My dream was to be a famous singer, probably country but I was super excited to do a Christmas album. I don't sing as well as I listen. :)

14. I have started, and stopped, college 4 times. Some times that makes me feel like a failure, but it actually makes me persistent. I know what I want, I just can't quite get there with all the life that keeps happening around me. I will get it someday; watch me.

15. I like being alone but not feeling lonely. So, I am really good if you leave me at home all day but you better text me so I know you're thinking about me too. Steve's a lucky man...

16. It takes every ounce of magic in me to go out socially, even if it's just family. I have a great time once I'm out but the anxiety of going keeps me from a lot of things. I absolutely hate walking into a room of people. I enjoy socializing with them once I'm there, but I hate going.

17. I have attempted suicide 6 times. Thank you God for always saving me. I know now that it's not my time. I have suicide ideation and that scares people. It's not scary. It's how my mind works. It's a part of who I am, just like the depression, anxiety, bi-polar, fibromyalgia, and endometriosis.

18. I was terrified for my little sister to turn 35. When my oldest sister was 35, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. When Anitra was 35, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. When I was 35, Anitra completed suicide. I was terrified for my little sister. I don't think anything tragic happened that year for her. I am thankful.

19. I am allergic to shellfish but only when I'm pregnant. In fact, a bad reaction to crab legs is what led me to take a pregnancy test and that's how I found out I was pregnant with G!

20. I have been pregnant 9 times, have 3 biological children on Earth, 6 in Heaven, 3 adopted children and one beautiful granddaughter (who biologically is my great-niece). Family is everything to me, even when they make me run pulling my hair out!

And there you have it. I hope some of them were interesting. For those wondering, Banana was out playing with friends and doesn't have a phone so she couldn't answer a fact about me. I think I might ask her later anyway!

"Your Blog's Name" - Day 1 of 30 Blog Challenge

(I struggle with topics but love to write so I'm "borrowing" from other's in an attempt to get my creativity wheels turning. Writing is therapy for me, even when it's not deep or personal. So I'm taking some time for a little 'self-care' and writing about things some things that really matter and some that really don't.)

The name of my blog has changed a few times. It was hard to settle on a name. Thankfully a friend helped me design it and come up with 'Eight is Enough'.

Obviously the name came from the size of our family. There were 6 kids and 2 parents and there we go. God knows at the time, I wasn't really thinking about how much our family would grow. I knew that we were done bringing children into our home. I knew that I certainly wasn't going to biologically have anymore children.

I kind of didn't think about the other ways that our family would grow. We have a beautiful granddaughter. I hope that we have many more some day. Our children have significant others (well, one child does and others will). I didn't take into account the friends that have become family. I didn't count our extended families.

I thought about changing the name of this blog, especially after Rileigh was born, but decided that we would stick with the original eight. I think when I see it, it reminds me that eight really isn't enough. We never really just eight. We've always been so much more than that. We could never put a number on the amount of love and people we include in our family.

Anger/Hurt

"Mom, I want friend x to hurt as much as she hurt me!"

Oh, my beautiful, hurt, angry, baby girl...I hate that you are hurting. I hurt for your hurting heart. There is so much I want I want to say to you, but I know that you can't hear me right now.

So I will pray for you, even though right now you can't see God's Light.

I will set very firm boundaries for you, even though you will fight them.

I will remind you that hurting someone because they hurt you isn't His way, even though you can't see that right now.

I will listen to you, even when you don't think I am.

I will listen to you, even when you don't want to talk.

And I will love you, even though you can't you feel that love in boundaries that are being set for you.

God says to love your enemies and to do good to those that hate us. That seems like a really hard, sometimes impossible, thing to do. I can imagine that seems even harder to do in your place in life right now.

God gives us really hard, sometimes seemingly impossible, things to do so that we grow. He wants us to grow in Him. He wants us to grow towards Him. He wants us to grow with Him in our hearts, spirits and hearts.

It's hard to watch your kid hurt. It's hard to watch your kid be so hurt that they are angry and lashing out. It's hard to set some of those boundaries that are so important to set. It's hard to pray for them to grow when you really just want to hold them until their hearts heal. It's hard to not be able to just wipe away a tear and kiss a boo-boo and make their world all better.

These are some of the things I've learned while parenting teens. Rest assured, those boundaries are still going to be set. Rest assured those lessons are still going to be taught. Rest assured that we are still going to love you when you don't feel lovable. Rest assured that we are still going to be here at the end of the battle. Rest assured that we are still going to expect you to be Christ-like, even when you don't act Christ-like, or feel like you want to be Christ-like.

You are our daughter. Our gift from God. We share you with the universe and hurt when the universe hurts you. We cry when you cry, even if we are crying different tears. We will fight for you; for your heart and your body and your soul. We will forever have your back but call you to be accountable for your actions. You are never alone. You are never lost to us. We are your parents and will keep pushing for you, even when you are pushing back harder. We will teach you lessons that you think you don't know and point you towards the right people to help in teach the lessons we don't know how to teach you.