One Night

 I've mentioned, maybe a few times, that I'm internally exhausted at this point in my life. Yesterday, I forgot to take my lunch to work with me and I could have gone and picked something up but thought I would be fine. I ended up eating junk through the day. Yummy junk, but junk. Sesame sticks, some nuts, a couple cookies, chips...Needless to say, I felt like crap by 3:00. I had a headache and I was wiped out. When I got home at 4:30, I ate a couple turkey sticks and dinner could not come fast enough. 

I have a thing that I tell my kids, "if you're sitting at the table holding your head up, you are clearly in need of early bedtime." Well one of the kids was doing that last night and as I was demonstrating the behavior I wanted them to stop, I realized how great it felt. I clearly needed an early bedtime last night. 

Fighting all my "mom guilt," I asked my hubby if he could handle kids. I went to bed at 7:00 last night. I took my night meds, put on my jammies, turned off my ringer, curled up under my weighted blanket and turned on Netflix. I fully intended to fall asleep but didn't. 

It was very much needed. I got up this morning refreshed. I'm still tired because that's where I'm at right now but I feel like I can push through another day. I feel friendlier. I feel like the tasks on my list today will not drown me. I could still use a nap but that's physical tired and that's different then soul exhaustion. 

Today, I'm going to the gym. I feel like I can breathe again (literally...it's been tough) and so I'm having the hubs pick up the little from school and meeting a kiddo at the gym today. I'm hoping that helps with tonight's sleep. 

What I found out last night should not come as a huge shocker to anyone but my mom guilt, everyone was FINE. The hubs got the little to bed, the big kids took care of themselves, the world did not end. I don't HAVE to carry the weight of it all every single minute of every single day. Truthfully, my family will benefit from it today because I won't be crabby and I will be able to focus better today. 

Oh...and I brought my lunch today so I won't be protein deprived and overloaded with carbs! 

Take care of yourselves, friends. Your life needs you to hit pause every so often.