1-800-273-TALK(8255)

I woke up this morning to the very sad news that yet another high profile celebrity had completed suicide. This has been a hard week. May Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain's souls find the peace in the afterlife that they could not find on this Earthly world. May their families find a peace in the sadness and the not knowing.

The AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention) notes that on average, 123 people complete suicide a day. They further report that only 1 of every 25 attempts is successful. Keep in mind that these numbers are completely underreported and only accurate to the degree of what is known. This does not account for the amount of people who attempt suicide each day and do not succeed. This does not account for people who have completed suicide but done so in an untraceable way.

These numbers are on the rise. All reports show that the rate of suicide is going up. This is tragic. May all of those people find a peace that they could not find here. May people have the strength to talk about it. May we find a hope and peace for the future.

How do we find hope in those stats? I don't know.

I have attempted suicide multiple times. I have laid in bed and thought of ways to end my life; the when, where, how. I have begged for strength and courage to simple end the suffering and anxiety and depression. I have wished for that one bad diagnosis from the doctors that would mean an end to my life. I have thought the "if only" thoughts.

I get it. Life can be hard. Really hard. When you're fighting demons in your mind that tell you that you are worthless and stupid and not deserving of love. When someone you love hurts you to your very core. When the world seems to be spinning out of control with no sense of it stopping. When it feels like nothing is going right. Even when it feels like everything is going right but there is a sadness so deep within your soul that the brightness cannot find it.

Reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Line is 1-800-273-TALK(8255). It can be anonymous. Nobody has to know the dark, troubled thoughts in your mind if you don't want them to.

Reach out. Text me, call me, message me, Snapchat me. Day or night. I'm here. If I know you a little or if I know you a lot.

Reach out. Call a friend who can just be in your space with you. Someone who isn't demanding or has a need to 'fix' every situation. Or someone who does need to 'fix' everything.

Reach out. To a therapist. To a doctor.

Reach out. Post what you need to on social media. There are such beautiful scriptures, pictures, thoughts on social media. If you need to just get words out but don't know how or where to, do it there.

Share your story. Let people in. If for no other reason than to let someone else know that they are not alone.

You are NOT alone. I know that you feel like you are. You are NOT alone.

You are NOT worthless and undeserving of love and attention and peace. I know you feel like you are. You are NOT undeserving.

You are NOT the sum of what people make you feel like you are. Even when those people are the one's who should love you the most. You are NOT those things.

You are NOT the tapes that play in your head and you are NOT the things that depression and anxiety tell you that you are. I know those tapes play loudly. You are NOT those things.

As a survivor of someone who completed suicide, a club that I never asked to join, I can tell you that our lives make a difference to people. Your life means so much more to someone than maybe they've told you. Or maybe they've told you and you couldn't hear it or feel it because your mind wouldn't let you. Your life matters. Your heart matters. Your feelings matter. Your thoughts matter. You matter.

My life matters. My heart matters. My feelings matter. My thoughts matter. I matter.