Here We Are...Still

In March, when we were all sent home, I thought that I would write a little something each day to have something to look back on during this unprecedented time. Then I switched to once a week. Then I switched to when things happened that just seemed to0 unreal. Then...I just couldn't anymore. It just became life and the mundane and everyday of everything.

So 5 months later...here we are...still. Things are moving in a different direction now. We are seeing more and more life outside of the house and yet, things still aren't "normal". I wonder what "normal" will feel like. Is this it? Is it just taking it all one day at a time? One news cycle at a time? One "COVID-19 Dial Change" at a time? 

First the kids were kept home from school break. Then I was sent home to work from my table. The JobCorps kid was sent home. The guys were sent home to work from our basement. School was switched to remote learning for the rest of the school year. A child was hospitalized for mental health issues. A child was furloughed from work. Unemployment was applied for. The store became a really scary place to go and it took a couple days to recover from the mental aspect of the stores being scary. 

Then we looked at the bright side of things. "Family Dinner" became more frequent. We ordered groceries for delivery so that the store didn't have to be scary. We shopped online and looked forward to deliveries. We played more family games. We ordered out for dinner more often (I called that stimulating the economy but it was really more about fighting the boredom). We reached out to friends. 

We had more meaningful anniversaries and birthdays because we couldn't just "go out and do something". We had more fire pits and got lost in sleep cycles. We went to the drive-thru safari weekly just to get out of the house and still stay safe. 

In May, two of the kids and I went on a road-trip and helped a friend move to AZ. We saw what the pandemic meant in other parts of the country. The world exploded with protests. The world seemed to become a super scary place with battles in our country headlining social media. Sometimes it felt like that war was in our own home. 

Members of extended family became closer. We formed a new bond over struggles with the issues of social distancing and a frightening war outside our windows. Mental health battles have become more prevalent in this new "normal" world that we're living in. 

Two weeks ago I got sick. My body was in constant pain and I developed symptoms of COVID-19. I started coughing and got extremely worn down. I had headaches and a sore, scratchy throat. TestNebraska has ruled out COVID and I'm starting to feel better. Colds hit me harder (probably not helped by the fact that I smoke) but I also have fibromyalgia and Type II diabetes and early onset osteoperosis. All of those things that I never really thought about before had me scared that I had exposed people and had brought this pandemic to their lives in a whole new way. Symptoms brought me back to working from my kitchen table as we waited for the results. I didn't leave the house. 

Next week, I start my new "in-office" work hours. Tuesday, Wed., and Fridays from 9-3 in the office as we try to stagger schedules in the office as a way to keep everyone safe. Working from home the other 2 days. My school age kiddos got to go back to school full-time as they go to a smaller school so social distancing is easier than the big schools. We don't know how long it will last. We are hopeful that they will be able to continue in-person for as long as possible. Who knows what will happen in the coming months? The work-from-home guys are here until at least Thanksgiving, most likely through the end of the year. The laid off daughter got to go back to work. We hope that isn't just temporary. The JobCorps kiddo is still home with no signs of going back anytime soon but he's working and doing online school work to stay active. 

So here we are...still...5 months into a global pandemic with no end in sight and all the talks of a "second wave" and scary talks about what flu season will look like. I don't think we can call this the "new normal" because it all changes month to month, week to week, and day by day but here we are...still. Here we'll be...