Obviously there are words or names or things said by people in anger that are hurtful. These things can stick with someone forever. No matter how hard they try, they can't forget them. Knowing that they were said in anger doesn't make them go away. I am as guilty at this as the next person. I have said hurtful things to people.
I always tell my children to choose their words carefully. I always tell them that what you meant by what you said isn't nearly as important as how those words made someone feel. I tell them that if you say 10 nice things to someone and 1 mean thing to them, the thing they will remember is the mean thing.
I believe that. I know that to be true. I know that because I remember really awful things that people have said to me. Not because I want to hold onto painful things but I think that if everyone is really honest, they remember those things too. I don't play them over and over in my head (ok, well on really bad days I tend to but...) They are things that are just there.
There are things that people say that we hold onto forever because they mean so much. A special phrase someone has said. A special moment with silly words that you exchange. Nobody thought, "this is something that will stay with them forever," they were just words exchanged between two people.
I love those memories. We all have them. They hold us over when times get tough. They are something to hold onto when there is chaos around us. We repeat them. We tell stories about people based on a simple phrase they have said. We hear them in our hearts as we fall asleep at night.
I'm not really sure what the whole point of this whole thing is...I just feel like words are so important. I really hope that when I'm gone, or when people tell stories about me, or when people fall asleep at night, that the words that I have said with them and to them are good ones.
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