HIV

HIV is a disease that, to be honest with you, I knew very little about. I knew the basics, or at least I thought I did. HIV is not something that I ever thought that I would come to have first hand knowledge about. I wish it were still like that.

One of my very best friends was diagnosed with HIV in March. I'll admit that I thought that maybe, a very tiny nagging maybe lived inside me when I first found out they were testing him. Then he called with the news that it was positive. Nothing could prepare me for that moment. Nothing could prepare me for what all of that meant.

My friend had made choices about sex that many of us have made. Without being horribly graphic, we're all aware of what safe sex is and a lot of have chosen not to always partake in safe sex all of the time. Well he met a girl, and when things seemed like they would be moving in a physical relationship direction, he went and got tested because he knew he'd not been very safe. That test was negative. He was told not to worry about being re-tested in 3 to 6 months because this test was negative. Unfortunately, to say it mildly, that test produced a false negative. I have come to learn that this is not really that uncommon.

Fast forward to 3ish years. He's married to this girl and they have a beautiful child. He got really sick in December and he hasn't been able to get better. So he visits a new doctor and she runs a bunch of tests and BAM...life changes forever. His wife and child have since been tested and miraculously, they have tested negative. His wife will have some more tests later down the road but at this point, she is HIV negative. Thank you God.

I have learned about HIV meds, CD4 counts, viral load counts, genothru (I think) tests, types of drugs people show a lot of resistance to, common ailments for HIV positive people. I truly believe that knowledge is power. I have educated myself as much as I can in what all of this means. I have made phone calls to different health departments. I've joined about 10 new email newsletter groups. I have looked up so many drugs that if I had a better memory, I could find my way around a pharmacy! It doesn't do much for my friend but it allows me to have hope. It allows me to tell him things with a little more accuracy and a little more peace of mind.

He's sick. He's in the hospital now with PCP, which is a type of pneumonia that is pretty specific for HIV/AIDS patients. He has other health issues which are causing the disease to spread more quickly. He's now considered to have AIDS. That classification has to do with the pcp and the fact that his CD4 cell count is low and his viral load count is high. When a person's CD4 count drops believe 200, they are considered to  have AIDS. That number can go back up but because it has been down, they will forever be classified in the AIDS category.

Him being sick has been a lot to handle emotionally. I can't begin to imagine how he and his wife feel. I will say this, since Anitra has died, it has made death seem a lot more real. Having him sick has made us feel as though death is once again at our doors. I told Tai the other night that we do not mourn the living and that we can be sad and scared but that we will not mourn him until it is time to. We will not give up hope in this battle until there is no more hope to be had. I believe that with all my heart.

I have shared this with you for a couple of reasons. The first being that it is what is going on in our lives right now. It is part of our daily life as we continue to pray and hope for him to get well again and I'm sharing that with you as much as I share the rest of our lives. I am sharing this because it's on my mind and because I have his permission to do so. It's the emotions that I'm experiencing and it makes me feel better to be able to "write" them out and have them out in the universe. I think some people feel that's narcissistic but that's a whole other entry." Another reason I am sharing is because it's a great teaching moment. Those of you with children, and those of you without, remember that these things can happen to you. They can happen to your brother, your sister, your niece, nephew, best friend. I could give a lecture on safe sex but I'll save that for the health teachers.

Mostly I share this because I am asking you to pray. Pray for my friend, his family and his friends. Pray for wisdom for the doctor's and pray for strength. Pray for God's will and mercy. Thank you for your prayers and thank you for allowing me to share this story.