What Would Jesus Do?

A simple catch-phrase. It took off a few years ago. I remember the bracelets, the t-shirts. I was trying to explain the movement to G.

The other day a friend was over and for some reason on this day, they both just seemed to be getting under each other's skin. They both kept pushing and pushing until not nice words were said and not nice actions were done. Feelings were hurt and tears were spent. Life lessons were learned. How we cope when things turn from "getting annoyed" to being hurtful in our thoughts and actions. Important lessons for a 10 year old.

When the friend left and G and I were able to talk more about it I brought up the "WWJD" movement. She talked about it. She said "mom, what if I don't know what Jesus would do in that situation?" That's a pretty good question and sometimes I don't know what Jesus would do. I told her that when we don't know what He would do, we know one thing, "Jesus would love."

We talked about how she, as one little girl, has the power to make someone's day. Offer a kind smile, offer to play with someone who looks a little lonely on the play ground, ask that kid sitting by themselves at lunch to sit with you and your friends. Offer kind words to your friend who just seems to be having an off day. Heck, if they don't want to hear your kind words, just sit with them and be.

With all the sadness in the world, with everyone running in different directions because of busy schedules, with all the different mental health issues and behavioral issues that our kids see in classes every day, with all the madness and craziness of school starting, I encourage my kiddos not to get lost in all of it. I encourage them to not get so hung up on the details. I don't want them to forget who they are. I don't want them to forget what their purpose in life is...even if they don't know their purpose in life.

So I tell them, "If ever you don't know what to do, ask yourself what would Jesus do." I know that Jesus would love and as long as you love, you are way ahead in life.

What Others Think

Most of us have the desired to be liked. Most of us look for validation in other people's opinions of us. It bothers most of us if someone doesn't like us. It bothers most of us if we think that someone else thinks we've made a mistake or that we are doing something wrong.

The truth is that we are never going to be liked by everyone. We are probably not going to be liked by everyone we seek to please. There will always be someone who doesn't think every decision, everything we do, is what they would do in the same situation.

That's okay. AND it's not really any of my business. I don't really need to be liked by everyone. It's okay for me to make unpopular decisions. It's okay for me to stand my ground on things that I feel strongly about. It's not really any of my business if the guy down the street thinks I mow too often, or not often enough. It's not really any of my business to know that someone thinks I'm too fat or  (haha) too skinny. It's not any of my business if someone else thinks they have all the answers to all the things that ail me. It's not any of my business if someone else thinks I should make my kids eat everything on their plates.

It doesn't even serve a purpose to know what everyone else thinks of me. I'm not taking a poll. It's not because I "just don't care what anyone thinks". It's not because I think I know everything. It's not even because I think I'm doing everything right. It's really because unless I'm actually going to do what everyone else thinks I should be doing or act how everyone thinks I should I act, then why do I need to know. All of the people in the world have a different opinion of the rights and wrongs of others so essentially by doing what someone else thinks is right, I'm going to set off a huge storm of other people who think I'm doing it wrong. Then what happens?

So where is the answer? It's none of my business what someone else thinks of me. I am going to do what I think is best. I'm going to be the size that I think is the best. I'm going to drive the car I think I should drive. I'm going to live and do what's best for God, my family, and myself. That's whose opinion really matters at the end of the day. That's who I will answer to at the end of the day.

This is what I work on teaching my children. By doing so, I hope they realize that they are great people just the way they are. They are a work in progress and are loved in spite, and because of, it all. I also hope this teaches them that just as it's not their business what other people think of them, it's not really anybody else's business to know what they think of them either.

I want them to do what's best for God, for their family, and for themselves. I want them to be kind. I want them to live in God's way.

Off They Go

Day one for our elementary and middle school kids was yesterday. I am happy to report that they all had a great first day and no homework was given out! Not even homework for mom, which makes me SUPER happy too!

Ariez and Trey reported to their different teams for 8th grade. I thought they'd be more excited about being the big men on campus but apparently it doesn't matter all that much and the thought of having to enter at the furthest doors away was not a nice one for them. It makes me giggle but I guess it's a big deal to the 8th graders.

Genna & Rey had great days too. Rey decided that 3rd grade might not be so bad after all and that maybe even Mrs. Wilson will not be so bad. She really wanted the other 3rd grade teacher but I think only because Genna had her. We are learning about giving people a fair chance and entering the room with a positive attitude. Genna originally was really sad about her teacher and then yesterday declared her to be the nicest teacher ever. I look forward to working with both of them.

Tai started her junior year off today! I can't believe she's already a junior. I know how quickly the last couple of years have gone and I know soon enough it will be time to take her to college. I hope we can just breathe and focus on her being a junior first. She is still attending zoo school and was excited today to get to see all her friends. She started the day out with sad news that her favorite teacher is battling breast cancer. We will be praying for Mrs. Holliday! She has been working her tush off like crazy the last 3 weeks at Culver's. The summer hours are great for the money but I'm sure she's looking forward to time off too!

Rythm is working at Cane's now and is getting ready to register for classes. SCC starts in October and I assured her that I would be at her place on her first day to take her pictures too! She thinks it's rather wonderful that the other kids have to be back in school so soon before she starts.

I am looking forward to earlier bedtimes at our house! I may even be able to write more often!

Not a Death Sentence

Depression is not a death sentence. We've all seen the statistics so I'm not going to repeat them. Statistics don't apply to anyone who is living in that moment. Not to mention that I don't know the statistics right off the top of my head and am way to lazy to go look them up.

I digress...DEPRESSION IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE! 

When I got the message yesterday about Robin Williams, I didn't know how to process it. I felt sick. My world was spinning. Not only because this great man was gone, but because if Robin freaking Williams couldn't survive depression, what hope did the rest of us have? What was left for the rest of us if this beautiful life who had given so much to the rest of the world couldn't find his own peace in life? If rehab and doctors and medications that were not out of his reach couldn't work for him, what did that mean for those who can't afford the doctors, assistants, and medications? If the man who made millions smile and breathe and live couldn't smile, breathe and live for himself, who could? How does a "regular" person survive depression, addiction, anxiety, and mental illness if someone larger then life can't?

I don't know. I don't know the answer to those questions. I don't know how to survive depression. I don't know if I will survive depression. I don't know that I won't become that statistic. I also don't know that I won't walk outside and get hit by a bus tomorrow. I don't know that my ceiling won't collapse and I'll be crushed to death while I sleep. 

I know that it's possible to survive depression. I know that depression doesn't have to be a death sentence. I know today that even though Robin Williams couldn't survive depression, others can. 

My heart is heavy for the survivors of Robin Williams. My prayers go out to them and the dark days that may come. 

My prayers go out to all the people surviving depression, and all mental illnesses, one day at a time. It's not easy an easy battle but it IS survivable. 

Catch Up

Okay...it's been awhile. I got totally side-tracked by life again so here's a run down of what I've missed...

1)Graduation!! Rythm graduated on May 25th. We are so proud of her and excited for her future. We had a great party and it was great to see friends and family. I think she had a good time. She was a great hostess and I am extremely proud of how she handled herself.

2)Cyndi Lauper and Cher concert. All I can say is wow! I believe Cyndi is the first, and most original, real-life unicorn. I love her. As she was playing "True Colors", I was vividly remembering how often I probably drove my parents crazy listening to that song over and over. Cher was a fantastic production. If you ever have a chance to see her, even if you're not a huge fan, you have to go. Her show is a true show. Less of a concert and more of an amazing production. 

3)Rythm moved out!! She got her own apartment and she is doing very well...or so I hear! I miss her face and it's hard to believe that she is on her own. The second night was hell as storms blew through and I knew her "promise to go to the basement if the sirens blew" was exactly the same kind of promise I would have made at that time in my life. Currently I'm trying to give her space while still letting her know we love her and miss her. This is a new chapter for all of us.

4)Framily visit from Witchita. "Framily" is a term used to describe friends that are more like family. Chosen family. Anyway...we had a great time going to the zoo with them and the kids so enjoyed meeting new cousins. Let me tell you, the zoo with 12 people is a lot of work! Totally worth it!

5)Tai was in KC at the same time as our framily visit. She went with a good friend and she had a blast. She totally scoped out all the great things that we will get to do next weekend on our family vacation. She is growing up way too fast!

6)Reunion Time. Last weekend we were in K-town for Steve's 20 year high school reunion. Wow...those years seem to have flown by. Tai was with her bio-dad and so it was just the 4 younger kids. This is a weird feeling and while logistically it makes things easier and less expensive, I'm not in love with not having all 6 of my kids around. It's weird...I have been overwhelmed a lot with 6 kiddos and in a blink of an eye, it's become so natural that when they aren't all there, my heart feels a little lost. 

So that has been the last 5 weeks. It's been crazy and busy and what our life is all about right about. We are currently getting ready to send Tai to KC for Culinary Arts camp and then our family vacation. I will try to do better staying updated.

xxoo

Cast Off Day!

Today was the big day! It's the moment he's been waiting for...three weeks in the making...and here it is!!!

First the pins were in his finger...

Then they were out! A little blood but he did awesome. A little pressure but no pain! He assured the doctor that he was NOT going to pass out. Thank God!








Man was it stinky!! He (well all of us really) are excited that he gets to shower tonight without the bag!

So now he has a two-finger buddy system. The doctor said it was healed enough to take the pins out but not healed enough for much contact so he's going to be really careful the next couple of weeks and with a little bit of physical therapy to get the kinks out, he'll back to playing four-square just in time for summer!

The Memories We Leave Behind

Every night when we sit down to dinner we go around the table and tell the best part of our day. You can have up to three but no less than one. It's not a time for your negatives from the day, only positives. We do this if there are 3 people at the table or 8 people at the table. 

Last night I wanted the focus to be on about Mother's Day and memories that we have. We were eating in the basement because of the tornado sirens but we still did it. Each child first got to tell their favorite "mom memory" or something mom did/does that makes you feel special. This allowed A & R to reflect on their mom and allowed T, T, & G the chance to reflect on their mom.

Then we did their favorite "aunt memory" or something their aunt did/does that makes them feel special. This one allowed A & R to focus on me and allowed T, ,T, & G the chance to reflect on Aunt Anitra. I think it's important to be able to do both. 

What I learned last night was that my grandchildren and great grandchildren are going to think that Anitra and I were CRAZY!! Chasing kids with slippers and smacking them with them. Slugging them while driving down the street for slug bugs and accidentally clawing them instead. Anitra luring the children into her van with candy only to not have candy and a lecture on stranger danger. Aunts and moms who laugh hysterically in half sleep moments. Anitra stealing table stuff from Red Robin and her inability to say the names of things properly. Bus stop craziness. Large coffee from McD's with 10 cream/10 sugars. Road trips! Moving couches by flipping them end over end because they were too heavy to be lifted. 

What I learned was that the memories we leave behind are so much more important than anything else that we leave when we pass. These are the things that will keep us alive for future generations. These are the things that live in the living forever.