The Seizure

I want to start this story with the update that the neurologist called last night to let us know that the EEG done yesterday came back completely normal. Ariez has great brain function and there is no reason to think that will be more seizures in the future. They believe that his seizure was a reaction to a medication and that since he is no longer taking that med, he should not have a repeat. We are not in the complete clear for 4 more months, but all signs are pointing towards the good.

Now...on June 24th, I was home for lunch. Ariez and friend were upstairs in Trey's room playing video games. I was getting up to put my stuff away and head back to work when I heard a horrible crash and thumping sounds. I thought they were fighting and I was mad because my kids don't physically fight and I wasn't about to start having it now!

As I headed to the stairs to tell the boys this, the friend came running down. "I think Ariez is having a seizure," a panicked 16 year child tells me.

I ran upstairs and there, admidst the mess of teenage boys, was my son shaking uncontrollably. I yelled for my phone and called 9-1-1 and sat there with my hand on his back.

The seizure lasted for 5-7 minutes and was one of the scariest moments of my life. He stopped shaking and just laid there. Deathly still for another 2 minutes. He wasn't responding to my touch or the sounds of my voice. The 9-1-1 operator asked me if there was anything near that he could hurt me or himself with when he woke up. He said, "sometimes they're combative when they wake up and we don't want anyone to get hurt."

Ariez came to and just sat very dazed. He did ask me where the knife was. There was no knife. The EMT's got here and took over. He got very combative with them and tried to run away. They ended up having to restrain him.

When we got the hospital and were able to see him, the first thing he said was, "those guys tried to kidnap me." He didn't remember me being there telling him that things were okay. That must have been super scary for him. He also said, "ummm...I threw up on them." I told him that was an excellent self-defense move.

We are so thankful that he is okay. We are really looking forward to being able to completely say that he is fine. Thank you God, and all our prayer warriors, for watching out for us!

Always Move Forward

I was reminded tonight that what someone else thinks of me doesn't really matter. I needed that reminder. I AM smart, loving, caring, hard working, passionate, professional, loyal, and a whole bunch of other things.

I am NOT what someone else thinks (not anyone in particular, just people in life). I never have been and I never will be. That is NOT my story.

And so I will carry on and move to the next chapter of my story.

I want to say that if my work at the CAC has inspired to you to be more educated about child abuse and child sexual abuse, please conntinue to be inspired. I certainly am! If my work at the CAC has encouraged you to donate and support the CAC, PLEASE continue to do so! I will be! They need it! The kids need it! The staff needs it! It's such a great, worthy cause and fight!

My passion for the work being done at the Child Advocacy Center is never-ending. I will be forever grateful that part of my story includes being able to support the work (and the staff) being done there. I will be forever touched by the friends that I made there and the uplifting of support that I was given there. I am truly blessed to have had such an opportunity.

So, as "Pop" says to Luke Cage, "forward...always..."

My Aging Eyes

I didn't start out feeling old. I didn't think turning 40 would be a big deal. Then it got closer and I was a little put off by the idea. Then I turned 40 and it was fine. It's weird to think about. It's weird to say I'm 40. I didn't feel old.

Then I went to the eye doctor. No biggie, I go often enough that this shouldn't be a big deal.

And then she said it...this wonderfully nice optometrist that I had never done anything to. "I think it's time to start talking about bifocals."

I said, "but I just turned 40...".

She said, "yep, that's about the time we usually start talking about bifocals."

So...now I have bifocals. They are taking some adjusting to. I don't love them. I am not sure I hate them. In fact, I've noticed that while I'm working, they actually help. The rest of the time, they are not as helpful as I move my head up and down and side to side just trying to find the exact right position where everything is clear.

Nobody can tell by looking at them that my eyes have somehow aged. But I know. I know that my eyes have betrayed me and gotten older.

Ariez

About a week ago, 17 years ago, I got a phone call very late in the night (possibly early morning). Anitra was telling me that she was in the hospital (Good Sam in Kearney) and that her water broke. I thought she was messing me with. She wasn't due until AFTER I was due in November. It was August. I was pregnant and tired. She insisted that she was telling me the truth and that I needed to get to the hospital. 

So I went...and so her water really HAD broken and she really was trying to have this baby boy WAY too early. They wanted to heliport her to Omaha where they were more equipped to deal with this incredibly early labor but the weather was not cooperating. They gave her meds to stop her labor and put her on the ambulance. Terrified. We were all terrified. I called an OB nurse friend and she said "prepare for the worst. Babies born this early (24 weeks) don't make it." 

We prepared for the worst and prayed for the best. The doctors put her on bedrest and they tried as hard as possible to stall delivery as long as possible. 

On August 8th, at 25 weeks gestation, Ariez Dupree Huddleston came into the world. He weighed 1 lb., 13 oz. He was 13 inches long. 

Tomorrow, he turns 17 years old. It hasn't always been an easy journey. There were days it appeared that he wasn't going to make it. He didn't come home until November. He still had to fight. He didn't want to eat (he still doesn't really love to eat), so he fought some more. 

Ares is the god of war. He could not have been given a more perfect name. He has shown amazing strength and resilence in his life. He has won the war for life and if there was a battle for our hearts, he would have won it has well. 

Ariez, we loved you before you were born and will love you until we die. You are force to be reckoned with and we are incredibly proud of the man you are becoming. We celebrate you, not only on August 8th, but everyday because we love you and are blessed to be your parents. I can't wait to see how you win the next 17 years. 

Summer Update

I always have these grand visions of being better at posting...maybe some day...right now I'm too busy living this incredibly insane, busy life we have. My position in life right now is just busy. We have 3 teenagers and one almost teenager in the house. It is supposed to be busy. I wouldn't have it any other way, even on the days that I'm exhausted and complaining...:)

So for now...a recap of summer break and status update...

Tai is doing her internship (which the school calls an extern) in Nantucket, MA. She is working at the Greydon House and is having an amazing experience. She has been greeted by a Kardashian (Kourtney), cooked for several VIP's (including a Kennedy!), and had one of her plated dishes photographed for a magazine. She has visited a really cool whaling museum and I'm told she's going to the beach this weekend. She will be there until the end of September and then classes resume in Hyde Park on October 3rd. 

Ariez just survived his first season of detasseling! He worked his butt off! Up every morning at 4:00 and most days he wasn't home until at least 3:00. He was super excited to get his first paycheck and looking really forward to the final one that should have a bonus on it. Steve and I are super proud of his hard work. His goal for the summer was to get his learner's permit but a seizure in June halted those plans as he hasn't been cleared to drive yet. He's doing just fine and they think it's possible that the seizure was caused by a new medication he was on. SUPER SCARY but glad he's ok. He'll be 17 next week and we are excited to see what his junior year has in store for him. 

Treyson has plugged away at HyVee all summer. He'll keep his job when school starts and will be a junior at zoo school. He's a pretty quiet one and we don't see a whole lot of him. He's been hanging out with friends and working. It's all good because as long as he's working, he keeps paying off the car we bought for him. Ha! He's actually been really helpful in transportation this summer and Genevieve has really appreciated him running her and her friends around while mom and dad are working. 

Genevieve has had a pretty busy summer! First was camp with the church youth group. She was gone for a week to Maranatha Bible Camp. She has such a great experience and relationship with her group. That was followed by her favorite holiday, the 4th of July. She saves her money and buys a ton of fun stuff. This year we all learned the importance of safety with a minor explosion that had the entire street running. :) Then there was detasseling. She figured out pretty quickly that the corn is not her home away from home. It's okay though, she's still young and has a lot of time. Plus, she still has her dog clean-up business and even has another client! G is pretty anxious about school starting but I feel like we've had some great planning and that 8th grade is going to be over before we know it. 

Reyanne is bored and ready for school to start! She is a social butterfly all the way through and being home for the summer is not as fun for her. She is super excited to start 6th grade. She did start the middle school youth group at church this morning and that has been really fun for her. She also has dance and she enjoys that too. A couple of her close friends live pretty close so she's been spreading her wings more and meets them at the high school ball fields to hang out. She didn't go to Minnesota this summer but we tried to have fun! 

Somehow the summer has just about passed us! Lots of sleepovers, lots of grilling out. Lots of noise. :)

The Swimsuit

Steve and I are leaving for Cancun in 20 days. It's a surprise trip for our 16th wedding anniversary.

I've made multiple lists of all the things I need to do before this trip. We have our passports. We have arrangements made for the kids. We have emergency phone numbers, consents to treat. We have luggage. Our wills have been updated.

I'm a list person. I have checked things off of the lists, made new lists, checked things off the new lists.

Except one thing.

The dreaded swimsuit. Look, I'm a plus-sized girl. If I had known a year ago that I needed to be in a bathing suit for 4 days, I still would not want to shop for a swimsuit. I have looked online, I have looked in stores, I have asked trusted plus-sized friends. I'm telling you...the swimsuit makers do not want chubby girls in swimsuits.

My fabulous friend said, "I think that means they want us to be naked at the beach." I love you friend. You make me giggle.

The struggle is real. If you are a plus-sized girl, you know. If you are not a plus-sized girl. Check it out. Check out the selection and difference in prizes for your swimsuit vs. the cost of a plus-sized girl suit.

Rest assured, I will not be at the beach and pool naked. I also will not be posting any swimsuit pics. You're welcome.

Oh also, I'm kind of, sort of, terrified of the ocean...

It's Okay to Be Angry

It's okay to be angry.

It's okay to be angry with someone who has died.

It's okay to be angry with someone who you love very much.

It's okay to be angry with someone you love very much who has died.

It's hard.

It's hard to be angry with someone you love very much.

It's harder to be angry with them when they've died.

It's okay to be angry.